Kevin Thompson [00:00:00]:
Hey, welcome back to Change the Odds, the podcast where marriage and family were never meant to be a game of chance. Blaine and Adrienne, here we are. We're back refreshed. Oh, look at you. I tell you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:09]:
Are we glowing?
Kevin Thompson [00:00:09]:
You just have a glow of what's going on. Hey, in today's episode, we're going to talk about the retreat that y' all recently went on and frame it within the concept of rest within relationships. Rejuvenation that needs to take place, and specifically this idea that that happens in different ways. And I think there's two ways that we tend to get this wrong is some people never take the intentional time of getting away from their kids, having space, rejuvenating their marriage, and then that's one. That's the most dangerous place. The second is they always do the same thing when they're away instead of recognizing that different things rejuvenate us. There are times in which what I desperately need the most is to sleep. There are times in which what I need the most is to exercise.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:00]:
Those are two radically different things that can, in the end, have the same result. They rejuvenate me based on what is needed in the moment. And so if I've been just going 24 7, right, and staying up late and getting up early, I might just need a nap, and that's a great thing. But if I'm in my office, I've been writing. I've been. I need to get out, man. A round of golf can suddenly become very.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:25]:
Thank you for bringing that up, actually. Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:26]:
Very important.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:27]:
Home in the golf later.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:29]:
So tell us. Y' all just got away for a couple days. Tell us where you went, what that was like, how that even came about.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:36]:
Okay, go for it, babe. All right, babe. So we went down to the Oaks, Bob Goff's retreat center in San Diego, or just outside of it. But it was led and kind of rooted from our good friends David and Bethany, who we love and adore, and. And they're on this ambitious journey to kind of discover what does the retreat world look like for marriage couples. And we're close to that, too, because we love this discovery for couples to discover. We talk about a lot. Power couples discovering their identities, and God knew that they were going to get married and all these things.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:09]:
So we were very, very, very excited to help them, or so we thought. And then you kind of get there and you realize, oh, my gosh, we were helped immensely in this period of time. So that's.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:22]:
So was it a mar retreat or marriage conference? Or what was it? Exactly.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:26]:
So it was funny because I think it was almost a self discovery type of scenario as he wanted it to be. And I think it resulted in individual discovery. Really. Like the confusing part, there was like no rules around this thing. It was.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:42]:
It's Bob.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:43]:
Well, and it was. So Bob was. You know, here's the real notes of it. Bob was doing a communicators retreat. He's working with David and he's trying to provide David a space to kind of create his own thing. So he's. We're working in amongst what Bob's doing. But David was leading a subgroup in.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:02:57]:
The midst of a larger group. So we kind of. We were like in with Bob's group and then we kind of went and did our own thing and then we went back for the big stuff. And it was all. In our group. It was all marriages. So it was really like strengthening marriages. But it was also more of like, very personal and individual things that will bring you together as a couple.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:17]:
Yeah. So. So it's hard to describe because even Bob was like, oh, and then there's the marriage group over there. And David's like, well, it's not really a marriage, but it isn't, you know, so it's like. So it was fun. Cause we didn't know what we were about to get into.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:03:29]:
I think essentially the goal was like, let's have these couples walk away with a united vision of what's next in this next season. Right.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:37]:
And that happened for every single one of us.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:03:40]:
And in the midst of that, your marriage becomes stronger.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:43]:
Absolutely.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:44]:
I think here's what I love about this. This is what most couples never think about. And yet y' all understand the power in this.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:03:51]:
Ugh. It's life changing.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:52]:
There have to be the season in which we dream together.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:03:56]:
Y. That's what it was. That's what it was.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:58]:
And so. Thank you. So whenever we talk about friend, partner and lover, we honestly need to think about. We need to rejuvenate each area of those. Yes. They have a ripple effect. No question. And without a doubt, if you go on an annual vacation that is going to strengthen your friendship, should strengthen your intimacy, all those kind of things.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:24]:
And then depending on what conversations you have or what it looks like for partnership, this was what it sounds like to me is this was a very strategic partnership retreat.
Blaine Neufeld [00:04:32]:
Correct? Yep, correct.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:34]:
Which is going to benefit friendship and benefit intimacy. But this is how do we dream. And what we talk about in friends, partners and lovers is so often we hear the idea of Partnership. And it's so such drudgery. It's who's gonna pay the bills and who's gonna do the laundry and what about the meals? And who's picking up the kids from this and that? And all those things are important and they have to be taken care of. But partnership ultimately is, how can we make each other's dreams come true? How can we. What life do we want to create and how are we pursuing after that? Well, if you. First of all, if you cannot find some common ground on the basic details of life, who's making money, who's taking care of the house, all those kinds of things, you can never have those conversations.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:17]:
But at the same time, you then have to. Even if you solve those problems, if you never show intention to dream and to actually start taking steps toward those dreams, then the next thing you know, 15, 20 years are gonna go by, and you're kind of in the same spot as what you were before. And so what I applaud the two of you about is in the season of life, where it'd be very easy to say, we can't. Time is not available.
Blaine Neufeld [00:05:42]:
Right.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:42]:
You actually took time out to go and dream and think about how much easier that actually makes some of these decisions on who's picking up the kid here and doing this, because you have a larger vision of how that now plays into it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:05:59]:
Yeah. And. And I would say it wasn't, like, easy. It was kind of the worst timing for our family. Cause our kids started school, we weren't there for the first day of school. We don't have family around. So we had to ask, like, really trusted friends to watch our kids for us and do the drop off and like it. And it's a financial sacrifice.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:19]:
It screwed up my life. Do y' all know that? It screwed up my life. No, seriously.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:06:25]:
Really?
Kevin Thompson [00:06:25]:
Yeah. One of the trusted friends that y' all asked. So one of the most hilarious things ever is I have this meeting scheduled with one of our friends that I desperately need on this day. And he calls me and he goes, bro, I got to take the Newfield kids to school.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:06:41]:
And I'm like, he didn't even do it.
Blaine Neufeld [00:06:43]:
What?
Kevin Thompson [00:06:44]:
He didn't do it.
Blaine Neufeld [00:06:47]:
He did. Thank you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:06:49]:
You know who you are.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:50]:
Change the as. The podcast is part of the Thrive Podcast family of networks. And don't forget Mark Clark. He has a great podcast. He doesn't shoot it himself, but it does great.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:00]:
I love it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:01]:
We're so sorry.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:01]:
He didn't even take your kids to school.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:03]:
I don't know, maybe he went with. Yeah, I don't know.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:05]:
Yeah, he was. I don't know.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:06]:
He was probably there taking pictures and all of it.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:09]:
I bet you he didn't.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:10]:
I'd like to know what day of the week that meeting was.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:13]:
What day? It was Wednesday morning.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:14]:
Okay.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:15]:
So that line, I wanted to check that box to defend my bro.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:18]:
I'm just saying if my next book is. Is not as good as it could be, it's because we skipped that meeting.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:24]:
Oh, well, now I feel that's going to be great.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:27]:
That would be fine.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:27]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:28]:
But you're talking about the financial.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:29]:
Well, I'm saying it's, I'm just saying for people who are like, okay, great.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:33]:
But like just go away and do a retreat.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:35]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:36]:
I'm like we discovered.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:38]:
Oh well, we talked about on the way back was like, it doesn't have to be exactly in this certain location, like you can do this with your spouse. Like, you know, take a day to even just. What's our big family goal?
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:51]:
What did you say? What did you say you had to do is you had to remove the distractions.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:54]:
Yes.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:55]:
I don't care where you go, where you don't need to fly away, but you have to remove the distractions.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:08:00]:
That's and I think change the scenery a bit, you know?
Kevin Thompson [00:08:03]:
You know, like it literally can be, you drop the kids off and instead of going back to the office, instead of going home, you go to a coffee shop you've never been to before, you go to an area of town that you don't normally go to, go to a park. And we're gonna spend this extended period of time now stepping beyond the day to day mundane routine kind of things and look at the bigger picture. There's a book called the E. Myth Revisited and it's a business book where it talks about how sometimes you gotta work in the business, but you also have to work on the business. And so there are these times in which you gotta step outside the day to day operations of what's taking place. And look at the big picture of where do we want this business to go, what's hindering us? Right. The same thing is true with marriage. You need to work in marriage.
Kevin Thompson [00:08:51]:
You need to be making sure that you are making equal energy and effort on everything that's taking place. But then we have to have these moments in which we step back and now we're going to work on the marriage. What's the big picture? Where is your heart? Is there any place that you feel like I'M taking advantage of you right now that I'm not doing my part. Where are we headed? This is a season, no doubt. What's the next season look like? How are we preparing now to make sure that season's gonna be better? Are these. These big picture bucket list dreams, Are we progressing toward those in small ways, but are we at least heading in the right direction? And if you never have those conversations, I think you're robbing yourself of such potential of what the marriage could be, of what partnership truly is, which is I have somebody in my life who literally wakes up every single day thinking, how can I make his life better? And I'm thinking, how can I make her life better? And what a powerful thing that is. As opposed to how many couples just live their mundane lives.
Blaine Neufeld [00:09:49]:
Totally, Totally. And it's super inspiring. And before. There's so many things that came from it. And I'm not sure where we're all going to go here today, but what's interesting, and I think it could bring freedom to other people, especially moms, young moms. What was so noticeable to me was the first moments that we were there, each of the moms were so stressed. How are the kids still? Like, they hadn't removed themselves yet from that. And that guilt that could or disable someone from actually taking that step.
Blaine Neufeld [00:10:18]:
I don't know if you can speak into that or not. But like, it was, it was noticeable how?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:22]:
Yeah, you know? Yeah. I mean, it kind of lingers throughout the whole time, Especially if you have events like the first day of school. You want to know how it's going. But I think it took till like the second day to really be like, okay, like also just being like, God, just protect them and let me actually be present here in this moment so I can get everything you have for me here. Which just takes faith and like surrender too. Like you have let me be present with my spouse. I mean, it's just. Yeah, it's not easy in this stage of life.
Kevin Thompson [00:10:53]:
No, but it was important.
Blaine Neufeld [00:10:54]:
It was exciting when you saw the breakthrough for each of the ladies to say, like, oof, I'm ready to go now. And like the growth and the vulnerability and all these things that we need to share started coming out on that second day.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:06]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:07]:
And to lean in and to trust that, look, there is no doubt that there are some parents who are not engaged enough in their kids lives and they need to be more intentional about being there day to day, big moments, all those kind of things. Right. So there are some parents who Never show up for the ball games. They need to show up for the ball.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:26]:
Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:26]:
Y' all are not that right. Y' all are fully engaged. It's not a bad idea for y' all on occasion to miss a game.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:34]:
Yeah, totally.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:35]:
To let your kids recognize, hey, we actually can do this without mom and dad. There's a power in that.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:41]:
Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:41]:
But then beyond that for y', all to remind yourselves and to show them there's actually something more important here than just what happens on this day. And my guess, and I could be radically wrong, I doubt it. My guess is years from now, your kids will not remember that mom and dad were not there for the first day of this, whatever grade this is.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:12:00]:
They didn't even want to come home. They had so much fun.
Kevin Thompson [00:12:03]:
They'll remember this grade. They won't remember that you were gone. And yet y' all will probably forever look back on this trip as man, what a powerful moment.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:12:12]:
Oh, yeah. I think it's a turning point in our marriage, to be honest. And I think we're entering a new season and that was what we walked into. Just asking the Lord to just like reveal clarity, your vision and confidence right in whatever is next. And I think if couples don't take time to just ask that too, it's like a missed opportunity.
Blaine Neufeld [00:12:38]:
It is such a good job of like allowing us to have self reflection out of the gate before we kind of brought it into the group. And it was, I don't know, you should share what you've discovered by yourself. But I discovered, and I'm seeing a picture here where it's like, I'm running this race and I'm going great and I'm feeling great. And this is a spiritual race, obviously, because I'm still carrying a little holiday weight and it wasn't an actual marathon. But anyway, I've been going and I'm growing and I'm having all this fun and I just see her on the sidelines of like, it's your turn to run, you know, And I'm so. It's really cool.
Kevin Thompson [00:13:12]:
Yeah, no, I think so. And especially that idea, Blaine, of this is an issue that I'm emphatic about. Women are so good about sacrificing themselves for the well being of the family, for the well being of their husbands, for all of that. There has to be times and seasons in which, okay, you're not sacrificing.
Blaine Neufeld [00:13:38]:
That's right.
Kevin Thompson [00:13:39]:
We're sacrificing for you. And I mean, this is something Jenny and I experienced as she Started her business that, man, this is your season. Let's make this happen. How can we go make this happen? And obviously, she sacrifices for me in unimaginable ways, but I think so often I just see some marriages and look, and maybe there are situations, I think, about coaches, marriages, where the wife is just sacrificing the whole life. I don't understand that totally. But maybe there's some in which that's acceptable. I think for most, there has to be these seasons of give and take.
Blaine Neufeld [00:14:16]:
Sure.
Kevin Thompson [00:14:17]:
And what y' all are entering into is. Is that ability of this. What this next season looks like, you.
Blaine Neufeld [00:14:22]:
Know, and it feels together, like it's not even. I don't feel like I have to sit on the sidelines. It's. We're both in the race, and that's even better.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:14:30]:
And I think the most exciting part is that, like, we're both excited to do it together. It's like, I don't know, we just feel like a team.
Blaine Neufeld [00:14:37]:
Yeah. The partnership. You're talking about. Partnership. Bang on. You know, and we're. We know one of our superpowers is friendship. We're friends.
Blaine Neufeld [00:14:45]:
Lovership, if that's a word, lovership. I'm on that ship. I love that ship. Love the show, and we're there. That's just.
Kevin Thompson [00:14:54]:
Sometimes it doesn't set sail, but you're always, always prepared.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:14:57]:
He's always.
Blaine Neufeld [00:14:58]:
I know it's going to go, so I know I'm okay with it. You know what I'm saying? So that's grown, but now partnership. Oh, what a treat to be able to dream together.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:07]:
But I had to release, like, this fear of that I didn't really realize. I knew I had it a bit, but of intimacy and vulnerability, I had to break that off because it was holding us. I think it was holding me back from him. It was holding me back from my relationship with Jesus. And we just had a little bit of breakthrough, and it was amazing.
Blaine Neufeld [00:15:26]:
Yeah, it was so good. Not a little, a lot. Oh, yeah, it was really good.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:29]:
Don't move.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:29]:
And I also learned that I'm a minimizer. Bob Goffman has this. You know, those balls? It's like all a big connected thing. It can expand. And he's like, some people are minimizers.
Blaine Neufeld [00:15:38]:
And some people are over exaggerators. Maximizers.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:42]:
No, no. That's what he said. Maximize.
Blaine Neufeld [00:15:44]:
Maximize a problem.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:45]:
Yeah. And he's like. And we don't like either of those. We want you to be in the middle.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:49]:
Oh, that's good.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:50]:
Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm a minimizer. Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:53]:
Yeah. Because, I mean, let's go back. Let's go back into this agency dyadic. Right. The way that you keep peace within your life is you kind of de center yourself and you'll minimize things to make sure that peace remains.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:08]:
Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:09]:
And it's a great gift. It's beautiful. Except when it's not right. Then it creates its own problem. So it's good for you to recognize. All right. This is a space here where my natural tendency is not what I need to do. I need to choose something else.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:23]:
And it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary, no.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:26]:
Question, but to lean into it. But, Blaine, what I love is what you're saying. I mean, this is what, seriously, for years, is that partnership. There's such fun and excitement to it, and yet people don't get it. And literally, they'll read friends, partners and lovers. They'll be like, ah, friendship, that's good. I want a good friend. Partnership, lover, lovers.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:44]:
That's where I really focus in on. And I'm like, no, you don't understand. There's just as much excitement in partnership as there is in intimacy. And to see your partner, her heart come fully alive and engaging, her gifts and what's going on is just as exciting as anything else. And so I don't. I mean, is there anything you can say to those people who are listening, who haven't found that in their relationship? What is it that you would encourage them about that?
Blaine Neufeld [00:17:13]:
Well, I think I've gone on this discovery of late, and we talk about power couples, and there's something deep inside of me that wants freedom from marriages to see. And now I'm seeing it, the partner aspect of it, because I think too often, especially business people, they have this business over here, and there's a life over here, and she or he's doing this over here, and they think it's their problems, but it's their problem together. Like, it's like, no, no, no. God designed you guys to get married and do this. And now there's a vision here before both of us. I'm seeing the value of what it takes pressure off of over here in work, pressure off of over here, because we're in all of it now, more together. Right. It's this partnership to see.
Blaine Neufeld [00:17:55]:
Wow. I actually want her to be freed up in the mornings because I want her to get going on the business side of things. And I'm excited for her to have these discoveries. So I better jump in and be a partner in the Day to day things that I'm lazy or no, disregarding. Some of the times it's like I'm trying to bring her into this business aspect because you're like, you've got unbelievable ideas and all these things that I don't have. And I'm seeing so much business value in your giftings versus having, you know, we talk. Oh, now I'm going to go on a tangent, too. It's like finances.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:26]:
It's like, no, that's not just your problem. It's your problem together, but it's also your joys together. You get to celebrate in these things together. So I think it's recognizing that you aren't living these individual lives as a married couple. It's like, find the middle parts. Find how you each support each other in this partnership that just lets you to be free in all of it. And that, to me, is just like this discovery that we're having.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:18:51]:
Well, and I think something we're not great at doing that we're trying to get better is like praying about it and praying together. And if maybe, maybe your spouse isn't, like, ready, start praying that God would put it on their heart, put the vision on their heart, or ask him for what do you have for us? Not just me, but what do you have for us together? What's the greater goal?
Kevin Thompson [00:19:12]:
I love that question. I love that question. Because we can get so focused on self, and instead of recognizing what is it for this partnership that you want? And so, I mean, I see this as twofold. One, the partnership idea that people need to buy into, but then other two is just the space. You have to take space in some way to kind of have these discussions. I mean, it's something we offer here at Change the Odds marriage retreats. We're gonna have one in Palm Springs in January where we're just gonna gather 40, 50 couples and give them space to help kind of walk them through what's going on. Most of those couples will be kind of my age group, a little bit older, of kind of adult children, teenagers.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:57]:
So they're really looking, what's the next season of Life gonna be? But then we're gonna provide opportunities as well, couples in this next year to say, all right, our kids are little. What do we do in the midst of this season? How do we start preparing for what the next season is? So if y' all are comfortable, and I love how we're doing this on a live recording, but we can always edit things out. What if we begin to peel back just a Little bit of the curtain of what is to come for Blaine and Adrienne, and specifically within change the odds.
Blaine Neufeld [00:20:26]:
I love it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:27]:
You go.
Blaine Neufeld [00:20:27]:
Okay. So one of the big takeaways and it's been brewing and it was a fun discovery and just kind of jumping over the edge of the cliff and saying, let's go for it, is we both have a big heart for marriages, and this is one of the reasons we've been diving in with you. And we're so grateful for what we're learning. But we have this idea that what if those fringe players are attracted to jumping in and watching different podcasts or different personalities? We just feel like we've been given a gift of authenticity and relatability that we want to utilize so that we can grab all kinds of people and showing that vulnerable side, but the funny side and the humor things and all these things in a world of what we would call our life. Right. And so we would. We would want to create this. This idea that we can show people our life and which is actually their life, and they can see themselves in it.
Blaine Neufeld [00:21:21]:
And then it is that encouragement to start to discover. Let's go deeper, let's have these conversations. Let's learn things. Let's. Let's be excited about the friends, partners and lovers part of our marriage. So does that answer it?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:21:33]:
Well, you didn't say what it was.
Blaine Neufeld [00:21:34]:
Okay, do I answer what it is?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:21:36]:
A podcast, right? Is that we're talking about?
Kevin Thompson [00:21:40]:
Yeah. Well, it's going to start. It's going to Instagram. Changing the Instagram. What's the. What's the handle? Do you have the handle yet?
Blaine Neufeld [00:21:47]:
Our life. Marriage.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:48]:
Our life.
Blaine Neufeld [00:21:48]:
Is it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:21:49]:
I don't know. No, we don't have it.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:51]:
Oh, I thought we had the handle already. I was already very excited.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:21:54]:
Maybe we'll have to edit this.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:55]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:21:56]:
Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:57]:
Oh, well, we can kind of show.
Blaine Neufeld [00:21:59]:
This is our life. We're just.
Kevin Thompson [00:22:00]:
We're dreaming stage of what's going on. So it's going to be social media, so Instagram, obviously, YouTube presence as well, that we will develop into a podcast as well. It will start here within this framework and eventually sp. Into its own thing. But then we're gonna work together to create these experiences for people where some local. Some other places, locations where people can get together and begin to dream for them. What does our life look like for us?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:22:31]:
We love the retreat vibe, so we wanna create that experience for people.
Kevin Thompson [00:22:34]:
And unfortunately, where we are located, we don't have a lot of great spaces.
Blaine Neufeld [00:22:39]:
That we can do.
Kevin Thompson [00:22:40]:
Retreats. And so here for us, the only place that we can invite you into is Palm Springs, Monterey, Napa, or Lake Tahoe. Oh, shoot.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:22:50]:
There's nothing around.
Kevin Thompson [00:22:51]:
Unfortunately, those are the locations primarily. Now, we might on occasion jump over to a little bit further away into Hawaii, but, you know, only places that they're.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:01]:
Stop talking, Kevin.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:02]:
Directly.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:02]:
I like it.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:03]:
But yeah, we're gonna invite the audience into these locations where they can get away and begin to dream for themselves of what's going on and. And what can take place. And ultimately, this truly is about the two of you recognizing that, in part, God has put us together with unique giftings and skill sets so that as we learn to love each other, well, it's gonna have a ripple effect in the lives of other people. So we'll continue here at Change the ops, doing what we do, educating, working together, communicating. I'll continue to do retreats apart from y', all, but then we'll also do fine. But I'll do the non cool locations. Right.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:42]:
This is Sacramento.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:45]:
Let's see. Where am I? Well, I know I. My. I'm sorry. My next one's in San Diego. My apologies.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:50]:
It is beautiful down there.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:51]:
Oh, it's great.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:51]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:52]:
Pretty good.
Blaine Neufeld [00:23:52]:
Never been down there before.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:53]:
No, we hadn't.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:54]:
Oh, until recently.
Blaine Neufeld [00:23:55]:
Until recently. Yeah. Yeah, it was. I was like, oh, it's fun. The zoo and everything else.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:00]:
Yeah. Well. And what. I mean, what a privilege it is. Seriously. We joke about this, but it is a great privilege that we have to have friendships such as Bob Goff. It's just the.
Blaine Neufeld [00:24:10]:
So I was.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:10]:
I was in a meeting on what is today that we're recording. Okay. So I was in a meeting yesterday. Yesterday in which one of our co workers like, hey, let's see what Bob has to say about this. I literally called him up. He's on speakerphone, and he's, you know, being Bob in the midst of. We're literally dreaming we're going to do this. We're building.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:27]:
Helping him build a university in Uganda and, you know, in Nigeria or whatever. Whatever was taking place. Typical. I. I get the privilege of that. Not everybody has that. Although everybody can't call Bobby.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:37]:
That's true. You can find his number in the back of his book.
Blaine Neufeld [00:24:40]:
You can actually call him.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:41]:
But the privilege that's there. And so now this opportunity that lies ahead. And so Adrienne, Blaine, if y' all could just kind of narrow it down, each of you, to one thing of what you hope this comes for those who are listening, that they could. How they could benefit from what God is doing in the midst of y' all's relationship. What would you say?
Blaine Neufeld [00:24:59]:
Yeah, for me, without a doubt, it's the freedom that people will find in just being themselves and how that's gonna power their marriage to being something so incredible. So I want their freedom and identity in Jesus Christ. Christ. And in their marriage so that they're just going for it as a couple. There's. I just get so excited about that.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:25:20]:
Along with all that. I want the. And it doesn't always have to be the wife. It could be maybe the husband too, who feels like they're on the sidelines to, like, it's time to jump in too. And whether it's. That's a seasonal part, because there is time for that, but for them to be encouraged, the season will end. Or maybe it's time for you to jump in and it's not sideline time anymore.
Kevin Thompson [00:25:43]:
So let's review a couple things from this episode that I think are so important. One, it's the value of partnership. Partnership is not just drudgery. It's this exciting aspect of how can we make each other's dreams come true and begin to pursue after that in a meaningful way? But to do that, you have to make sure those basic elements of your relationship are taken care of. There has to be trust. There has to be respect. You both have to be playing a part and a role in the relationship. You can't.
Kevin Thompson [00:26:09]:
One of you can't feel like they're being taken advantage of. And oh, let's get away and dream about the dreams that come true, that's just not going to work. But partnership, at its best, is this beautiful aspect of us creating the life that we actually want. Secondly, the idea of that we've got to create space. You have to get away whatever it takes. And it doesn't have to be expensive, but. But if you don't have childcare and you got kids, befriend another family and say, hey, over this next year, let's have a weekend where I take care of your kids. Or a couple days.
Kevin Thompson [00:26:40]:
And then there's a couple days where you take care of our kids. And that now provides the space to get away. This is doable if people will do the work to actually make it happen. And then finally, an aspect of marriage has to be that we dream.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:26:54]:
It's a big aspect. Yes, isn't it?
Kevin Thompson [00:26:56]:
No doubt. But it's so easy to allow that to erode away to where we're not engaged, where we possibly can, and whenever we fail to dream. We fail to truly experience everything that God has for us in this relationship. And that's not what we want to have.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:11]:
Wait, can I just say, I think. I'm sure Bob said, hope without a plan is just a wish.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:16]:
Yeah. Yeah, I believe that.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:18]:
But hope with the plan is a dream.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:19]:
Yeah. Oh, there you go. Look.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:22]:
Tattoo that on your back. You know what I mean?
Kevin Thompson [00:27:23]:
Assume that's in his book, Dream Big. Oh, well, probably which everybody should pick up as they're at the bookstore, picking up friends, partners and lovers.
Blaine Neufeld [00:27:31]:
Guys, I'm telling you, don't skim over the partnership.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:34]:
That's exactly right. Thanks, guys. Love you both. We'll see you next time.