Kevin Thompson [00:00:00]:
Hey, welcome back to Change the Odds of Podcast for Marriage and Family. We're never meant to be a game of chance. Kevin Thompson, Blaine and Adrienne Neufeld. Hello. Neufeld.
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:07]:
Not Neufeld. Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:09]:
Sometimes I get hesitant about that.
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:10]:
Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:12]:
What?
Kevin Thompson [00:00:12]:
I don't know. It doesn't look like Neufeld. I know what it's supposed to sound like, but, yeah, the U. I think the U throws me.
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:17]:
Really?
Kevin Thompson [00:00:18]:
Isn't there a U?
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:19]:
Yeah, there's a U. People do N, E, W. But it's N, E, U, F. Uh huh. E, L, D. For those that are writing to us. Correct spelling.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:30]:
Let me ask you this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:31]:
Okay. I'm gonna.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:32]:
Have you been recognized yet? Have you out. Have you been out? Oh, yeah. Recognized. Yeah. Me.
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:37]:
Me more. So there's. There's been a couple ladies at.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:42]:
Oh, oh, only ladies.
Blaine Neufeld [00:00:45]:
We know the demographic we're speaking to that. She was. We're at a church thing, and she says, I know you from somewhere. What is this? And I was like, I don't know. I don't. I apologize. I don't think that we've met before. And she said podcast.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:00]:
Oh, there we go.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:01]:
I love Kevin. I was like, well.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:02]:
Oh, well, what about Adrienne? That's very kind.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:06]:
That was very kind.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:07]:
Hey, it's a great reminder. So if you're listening. If you tend to listen to this podcast, go over to YouTube and you can. You can see. See who we actually are, because that would dramatically change everything.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:17]:
We might even change the odds.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:18]:
So you're.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:19]:
Are you listening again?
Kevin Thompson [00:01:20]:
Exactly. So you were. You were talking about.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:21]:
I'm sorry, it meant nothing, but we're at the golf tournament, and they spelled my name Neufelder, and I kind of liked it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:01:28]:
Neufelder.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:30]:
What about that for nickname? You don't like Blaney?
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:32]:
I don't like.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:32]:
I know. I accidentally get into it. I know you tell me not to do it, and I. Sometimes I can't stop it. I can't call you Kevi, which I'm totally fine with.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:01:40]:
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:41]:
See, no. So you're like, why? So my niece calls me that, and so. And then some other people picked up on it. So it. To me, it's a very familiar kind of affectionate kind of thing.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:52]:
The other thing that really annoys me, I can live with Blaney from you because I know the heart behind it.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:57]:
That I don't mean to do it at the moment I say it, I.
Blaine Neufeld [00:01:59]:
Regret it, but when. And I'll spell My name here. B, L, A, I, N, E. When people forget the E. When they spell my name on something that irritates me beyond belief. What is that?
Kevin Thompson [00:02:08]:
Wow. That's. You know what that is? No, that is a masking. Let's. Let me. All right. I just. I don't know.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:14]:
This is pop psychology. I feel like that's a little bit maybe of growing up, there were times in which you felt unseen. Fourth boy And. Oh. Oh, well, this explains everything.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:25]:
Like, spell my name.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:26]:
No, that's. I need identity. Yeah, that's exactly what that is. How fast. And he's like something so subtle.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:32]:
I like.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:32]:
But how meaningful it is.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:33]:
I like that.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:02:34]:
I don't care about that kind of stuff. People call me Andrian, and I'm like, cool, whatever. But I'm the oldest. I was always.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:41]:
It's like, you know who I am.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:02:42]:
Yeah. Everyone knows I'm here.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:44]:
So sometimes, whenever, you know, the automatic transcript of this, it will misspell your name and I have to go in and correct you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:02:50]:
Yeah. But I don't care.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:51]:
She doesn't care.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:51]:
I'll just start leaving.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:02:52]:
Spell it. The boy way too.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:53]:
I do care.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:54]:
Oh, yes, yes. Go ahead.
Blaine Neufeld [00:02:56]:
Spell my name.
Kevin Thompson [00:02:57]:
I don't pay attention. I just overlook. You're the third name of this podcast, so I just overlook.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:04]:
All right, spelling is. Okay, guys.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:05]:
New Felder.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:06]:
I. You know what? New Felder has the. I've got the table today. I've got the. The topic.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:11]:
Oh.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:12]:
So I've been. Been going on this for the last little while, and I'm very excited about the idea of couples kind of reaching another level to their marriage. And one of the things that I love to do is assess if a couple is on the right path. So how do we know when a couple is kind of in line with maybe God's will or their ideas or even a practicality? If someone's not a believer, like, what is their mission in life?
Kevin Thompson [00:03:37]:
Right.
Blaine Neufeld [00:03:38]:
That type of thing. But of course, we do decide that it's under God's call. But what. What are your thoughts on that?
Kevin Thompson [00:03:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. I love the concept of that idea that, all right, God has a will for my life, he has a will for your life, all those kind of things. But then this idea of once we start getting into a team mission, that we are together for a reason, for a purpose. God has allowed that to take place, maybe even initiated that kind of concept. Now, what are we created for? And what are the unique kind of areas in which we have the potential to impact the lives of other people.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:04:12]:
We.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:12]:
What are some areas? This is something we tend to overlook. What are some areas of weakness that you know what, this actually would not be a weakness if I were married to somebody else. Jenny probably has a long list of these kind of areas. But now because of our unique makeup, this is actually an area that we struggle a little bit more. Well, can we lean into the struggle? Think about the serenity prayer that believing that hardship is the pathway to peace. So even I think your unique struggles as a couple. Now it could be an aspect of God's plan of how to mold you into who he wants you to be. So, yeah, so here's what I did.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:45]:
You called me up, you kind of gave me this idea. So I just took a little bit of time. Not deep brainstorming. This is not the be all exhaustive list in any way, but I do have some basic concepts of. Let's look at five things that if this is an aspect in the couple's relationship, they probably are very well right in the center of where God wants them and progressing in a proper way. Let's dream up things that aren't. What would not be signs that you're right in the center of God's will. One is, oh, everything's going great, everything's perfect.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:20]:
All right? That is in no way associative of whether or not you were doing what God has called you to do or not. Because think about this. If that's the sign of God's will, that means hard times, we've messed up in some way. Here's the reality. You can for a season be extremely happy and externally satisfied in the midst of your own sin filled rebellion. True, some of the happiest people I know are in the early stages of deception. And it's exciting. So we cannot make that the ultimate marker.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:54]:
Now you can look over a lifespan of that kind of thing. Obviously sin is going to have an erosive effect over time, but at any given day you can be. I mean, think about right as a church, we're studying Ephesians. Paul's in prison in Rome. There had to be days in which he woke up not happy about his circumstance. Right. And yet God was using it in amazing ways. And in the same way, you know, there could be somebody listening today who's making extremely foolish choices.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:24]:
And the giddiness that can come with the feeling of what they're getting away with and the excitement and the new thing and all that kind of thing. You cannot put your emotion as the ultimate litmus does.
Blaine Neufeld [00:06:36]:
Yeah, well, yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:37]:
Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:06:37]:
That's wisdom.
Blaine Neufeld [00:06:38]:
You got thoughts on that?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:06:39]:
No, I just really agree.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:42]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:06:42]:
You like it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to analyze our life because one of the reasons we like this topic is we feel like we've been maturing and developing and seeing things a bit clearer now. Right. But we always go back to our struggles. It's like, oh, that was a defining point. Oh, that's when we kind of had the aha moment. Oh. Now that we went through that move, this move is easier.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:03]:
Right. And so it's like excitement comes from sometimes these opportunities when you look back.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:09]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:07:09]:
Like, when you're in it, it's. It's pretty defeating as the struggles that. I'm just chatting to someone else this morning about their marriage, and it's like, the thing blew up, and now how am I supposed to say, listen, this is a good thing. You're about to get to the other side, and it's just like, no, sometimes you got to sit in that too.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:27]:
It's so hard pastorally, because pastorally, you're. Sometimes you're sitting there, the couple, and you're recognizing you're actually healthier now that you feel horrible than you've been in a long time when you felt great because you were living in deception. And, man, what God can do in the midst of what's going on here, I can't wait. And you gotta be very careful about not exuding too much of a giddiness in the midst of their pain and sorrow. But there is this expectation of, oh, my goodness, if you walk with God through this, he's going to do amazing things to such an extent that you actually look back on this day with a fondness, even though you're extremely broken at this moment. All right, so let's dig in. You ready? Number one, we got five things Adrienne's fired up about this. I can tell it's a rainy day.
Kevin Thompson [00:08:14]:
It's our first. All right, let's break the fourth wall for a moment. So where we record, generally speaking, from Mother's Day to Halloween, it's sunny, not a cloud in the sky, nothing. And then rain eventually kind of moves in.
Blaine Neufeld [00:08:28]:
Right.
Kevin Thompson [00:08:29]:
And so today is the first real rainy day, like pouring rain, and Adrienne loves it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:08:34]:
Well, and also, my morning was a little bit crazy right before I left. My daughter fell and hit her head and was, like, bleeding. And I'm just a little bit like.
Kevin Thompson [00:08:42]:
Was Ain use Ain? Was Blaine. Was Blaine useful in that?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:08:47]:
No, he wasn't there.
Blaine Neufeld [00:08:52]:
Old Anfelder.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:08:53]:
Let's Be careful how we put those words together.
Kevin Thompson [00:08:56]:
It terrifies him when somebody forgets his. The E on the end of his.
Blaine Neufeld [00:08:59]:
Name, but not the B. I forgot.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:01]:
The B and the l aer. So was he useful?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:06]:
No, he wasn't home.
Blaine Neufeld [00:09:07]:
I was. I was pastoring.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:08]:
The guy that his life mending marriages, saving generations.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:12]:
His parents are out. So that was really helpful cuz his mom used to be a nurse. So I feel very confident that she's in good hands. But I just. It was kind of a tough to probably shake it off.
Blaine Neufeld [00:09:23]:
Probably like, it's like I have nothing to do with it. To leave your child when they're in.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:27]:
Pain, well, yeah, it's not fun.
Blaine Neufeld [00:09:29]:
So she says, this better be a good episode.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:31]:
It's not always that difficult for others.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:34]:
So I remember actually Blaine and I were talking about that this morning. We could go into a whole different.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:38]:
Let's go, let's go. Where are we going?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:40]:
Well, because I was like, it's hard. The kids always cry when I leave. And he's like, well, are you training them to cry? In a sense. You said that. And then I was like, you kind of. I said, they don't cry when you leave. And you're like, well, I've trained them.
Blaine Neufeld [00:09:53]:
No, no, we trained them.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:56]:
I was like, oh, so how sad is it not to have people cry for you when you. I got really.
Blaine Neufeld [00:10:01]:
So I think, I think, yeah, you, you came at me because it's like, oh, they cry for me. Oh, oh. Well, I haven't taught them not to cry for me, but like they're. What we were trying to say was. I was saying was, what are we enabling this? This? Or our one daughter, she discovered that if I cry, I get the teacher's attention.
Kevin Thompson [00:10:21]:
Oh, yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:10:21]:
So now it's a tool. So that made me think of this moment of like, while they're crying, they don't need you to stay, they want you to stay. Right? She's like, no, they need me to stay. I'm like, hate to break it to you. They don't need you.
Kevin Thompson [00:10:34]:
They want to break it to you. Does he say that? Is that the actual hate to break it to you?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:38]:
No, I don't think I heard those words exactly.
Blaine Neufeld [00:10:42]:
I changed a lot of the words that I'm saying now that I said earlier.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:45]:
No, I know they don't need me, but it's just hard as a mom when your kids are always like, of course you want to provide the comfort. And like you said, they're going to be okay.
Blaine Neufeld [00:10:54]:
It's just in my sadness and bitterness. I then said, wow, because the little one went to go hug mom again. This is before all this happened. But I was like, wow, it must be nice to be hugged and loved by your family. And then I left.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:09]:
Cool.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:09]:
And we didn't say goodbye. Here we are.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:12]:
Here you are.
Blaine Neufeld [00:11:15]:
Sorry, babe.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:16]:
How dare a do that to you? All right, so now let's get back to God's will that apparently y' all are not living in currently.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:24]:
Yeah, but it hasn't been easy. So isn't that like a good sign?
Kevin Thompson [00:11:26]:
That is. That's a hardship, the serenity prayer. Hardship is the pathway to peace. There you go.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:31]:
We're growing from this morning.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:32]:
Sign number one, let's hear it. That you are growing in awareness of God's presence and your own giftedness.
Blaine Neufeld [00:11:39]:
Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:11:40]:
So this is a sign now that you are headed in the right direction, especially whenever it comes to God's will. Let's go back one more time to talk about this. Is this really is a more mature perspective on marriage itself. So if we're living in the midst of kind of the immaturity, whenever we're young, new, all these kind of things, we think marriage is about us and it's about our love and the lives we're going to create and all that's wonderful and beautiful. But as you begin to have your eyes opened by God to recognize that no marriage and family is bigger than us, there's a bigger mission, a bigger purpose, we can accomplish greater things, then you start looking at what is the faith filled connection that is actually here beyond just, I'm a believer, he's a believer. Isn't that great?
Blaine Neufeld [00:12:22]:
You go to church on Sunday and that's it.
Kevin Thompson [00:12:24]:
It really is man. God isn't just in our hearts for eternity. He is in the midst of us right now and actually transforming us into something that he wants to use us to accomplish for his kingdom as he makes himself known to us. It's a higher level of maturity. And now that as couples are looking at this, one of the signs that you're progressing toward that is that you're more and more aware of God's presence and his giftedness within you, which means you're starting to call that out in each other. You're speaking life to each other. It's no longer this idea of, okay, my daughter fell and hit her head this morning. Just one thing.
Kevin Thompson [00:13:06]:
It is in the midst of that, all right, what's God's activity in this? How can I comfort her in a God honoring kind of way. How can I also begin to train her that other people can bring comfort as well? It doesn't just have to be mom. What is God trying to show me in my heart of why is it that she always cries when I'm gone? Even these questions of, is there something I'm doing here that's creating this? So just this bigger picture of everything that's at play rather than the minutia of the day and just looking at what's going on in that moment.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:13:38]:
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Blaine Neufeld [00:13:40]:
Would you say that, like, I wonder if we go right now we're on like a spiritual kick. Like we're trying to like understand spiritual warfare better and we're researching over here. So then kind of your lens is like, oh, what is Satan doing in this moment versus sometimes what's God utilizing? It's like this funny positive, both and. But you know what I'm saying?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:14:00]:
Because like, she could have hit her head and it could have been way worse. God could have protected her right in that moment.
Blaine Neufeld [00:14:06]:
That was allowing, allowing us. But this helped me see what is actually. I know I do see this, how God is using the story constantly, but at the same time, like, ooh, Satan's after us. We're on the right track. But at the same time, what's God using in real time?
Kevin Thompson [00:14:21]:
No, I think so. And I'm going to have a differing perspective on this than maybe some of our friends and co workers, not all. And so you can look at other perspectives. I think, especially on the whole idea of spiritual warfare. I think we give Satan far too much credit. And why do I need to fixate on Satan at all? I don't. Do I need to be aware that there is an enemy? Absolutely. Do I need to play defense? No doubt my fixation is on Jesus.
Kevin Thompson [00:14:46]:
At no point does scripture ever tell us, fix your eyes on Satan. It's not that. It's fix your eyes on Jesus. And so I'm never really asking the question again. My co workers might rebuke me for this. I'm never really asking the question, what's Satan up to Right here? We know what Satan is up to. There's no mystery what Satan is up to. He's come to steal, kill and destroy.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:05]:
There's a twang within that. Satan's southern. But at the same time, the question for me is, what is God up to? What does he want for my life? The fixation for me is. Is much more on him than. Than on the. The enemy.
Blaine Neufeld [00:15:17]:
I think in our realization lately Too, of. Of spiritual warfare and all the things. It's like Jesus won. So there is no stress and anxiety around what is Satan. It's almost a curiosity of awareness that is growing in us. But now we're far more bold to, like the, you know, the demons of. Of stress and all these things that are going, no, no, we've defeated that, so it isn't so. Yes, to your point.
Blaine Neufeld [00:15:41]:
I'm seeing that side of it, too. Is this like, oh, this is great. Jesus is at work. He's going to utilize this and teach us. That's cool.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:47]:
But, Adrienne, what's the place in your life that you are. You actually have an awareness of God now, whereas in the past you didn't. So in the past you would have just never thought. Not that you weren't a believer. Clearly you were, but you would have just never thought of asking the question, oh, what's God's up to here? Whereas now it kind of just naturally comes to you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:08]:
That's a tough question. I'm not good on the spot, Kevin.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:12]:
Sorry.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:13]:
Can you answer that for me?
Kevin Thompson [00:16:14]:
Don't you start filing. Filing the questions beforehand. Hey, I'm going to submit this question for you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:18]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:19]:
For next week.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:19]:
I don't know. I feel like there's so much that I am more aware of now, but I can't pinpoint anything.
Blaine Neufeld [00:16:29]:
Do you feel stronger in your faith in certain circumstances than you used to be?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:33]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:16:34]:
Like what?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:35]:
Well, that's another question. I don't.
Blaine Neufeld [00:16:38]:
The answer is yes.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:39]:
I'm an internal processor, so I got it. I am not like, yeah, so maybe.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:43]:
At the top of the episode, we can pose some questions for Adrienne.
Blaine Neufeld [00:16:46]:
And then throughout the episode, real time. So where do you see your gifting? So what's fun about your spouse growing in their maturity in this. This point of we're on the right track is that someone, way back in the day, one of the pastors at Village said, hey, you might have the gift of intercessory to. Hugh, you should read this book, Tim Keller's prayer book. I'll tell you, it hit me. And then we're doing this rooted program and we're praying. And she's been wanting, like, God, like, use me too. Right.
Blaine Neufeld [00:17:17]:
We've. No, we've talked about this. And so she went over and she's like, oh, there's a guy that has a knee brace. I'm going to pray for that guy with a knee brace. She goes and prays, and this is stretching herself as we know her.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:17:29]:
I have, like, ywam. Ptsd, where we were sent out to go, like, talk to random people. And so it makes me very uncomfortable to be like, should I pray for him?
Blaine Neufeld [00:17:37]:
And so then the boldness happens, and she prays for him, and. And now there's a healing that's happened in this last. That was last week. And now this week, she goes, oh, no. Knee brace. He goes, nope, feeling better. And was neat. Because here's a moment that God is asking you to stretch yourself and use yourself.
Blaine Neufeld [00:17:55]:
And then what? I can't remember his name.
Kevin Thompson [00:17:58]:
But anyway, the listener doesn't know either.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:00]:
No, he doesn't either, but he just randomly said it. And then you read that book. Do you remember the book?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:18:05]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:06]:
Yeah. And anyway, that made me think of it. So I think that there's some gifts in you that you're accessing. You're using these moments of growth that's giving you faith. That's exciting. You've been asking for more moments. You're getting more moments. So you're bolder.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:22]:
But it's funny, because what we don't do is we don't go home and we won't write these things down.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:28]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:28]:
Which is something we should do, because in the storms that will come. Oh, let's go back to the God journal of all the times he showed up. Oh, that's right. He's there the entire time.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:40]:
No doubt. And what I love there, Blaine, is even. I mean, this is the very first point, is that you're starting to call out the giftedness in each other.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:46]:
Yeah, exactly.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:18:47]:
That's why I didn't want to answer, because I wanted him to.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:50]:
Oh, you wanted him to call that out.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:18:51]:
And I thought it was a good example.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:54]:
In the moment, you provided the opportunity for him to speak life into you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:18:58]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:58]:
Which is a brilliant thing.
Blaine Neufeld [00:18:59]:
Would you like to go?
Kevin Thompson [00:19:00]:
No.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:19:01]:
Okay.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:05]:
She wants to call you things this morning. She doesn't want to call out things in you. That's a whole different. That's a whole different kind of concept. All right, so number two. Sign. Number two. So the first one is you're growing in awareness of God's presence and his giftedness within you.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:17]:
Number two is you're beginning to more and more leverage your love and your story to help others. So this is the idea of, like, for me and Joni, we remind ourselves of this often that God is pouring his love through us as we love each other. Well. And it should ripple out to have positive impacts in the lives of other people. Obviously, first and foremost, Ellen, Silas, just the stability that can come with that, all those kind of things. But then beyond that, we were in Oregon recently speaking and to look at the number of people who the email I've gotten this week, the number of people we talked to who were there, who are now taking their next step. Some are getting counseling. Some are recognizing my relationship isn't where I want it to be.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:59]:
Others, man, I just have this deep appreciation now for my spouse I didn't have before. All of that goes back to man, Jenny loving me. Well, me trying to love her as well as I can. And then it ripples into the lives of other people. And so you have your love first of all, but then you also have your story. And your story for many people, your story, the most powerful aspect of your story is what have you overcome? And as you overcome that, God. This is Corinthians. God, as he comforts you in that time of trouble, empowers you to comfort others as they begin to go through it.
Kevin Thompson [00:20:33]:
And so let's say I'm sitting down with a couple. Maybe an affair has been revealed. Well, I can talk to them. I've dealt with a lot of couples in that way. I don't have that experience. So I connect them with somebody who had that experience three years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, who can come alongside them and empathize in a way that I fully can't, while at the same time giving them a sense of hope of where we can move forward. So it's a leverage of your love, but also a leverage of your story.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:58]:
Yeah. So why would it be a sign of being in God's will when a marriage starts to bless other people? Not just itself.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:07]:
Yeah, because God never blesses us just to be a blessing for ourselves. It's never about that. It goes all the way back to Genesis 12. Right. That I'm going to bless you to be a blessing to others, to blessing to the nations, the nation of Israel. And so that is a pattern of God, a characteristic of God that has never stopped. And so this to me is also a maturing element aspect to recognize that anytime we are given something American wise, we can feel like we earned it, we deserved it. This is for us.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:36]:
Never that from a God perspective. It is always God has blessed us. Why? To be a blessing to others. Now what does that look like now we're going to benefit from that, no doubt. But even as our incomes begin to rise, that's not just about us. That's about how can we leverage this now for the well being of our friends. Of our church, of God's kingdom, all those things. And so any strength that you have, any good time that you have, a very fair question is, why has God blessed us in this way? Maybe a better question than why has God blessed us in this way? Is who does God want us to bless? Because he has blessed us in this way.
Blaine Neufeld [00:22:10]:
Yeah. It's very applicable to us right now in our season. Right. Because I think as. As you say, the bank account might go. The bank account has only gone down for us, but the influence for us has gone up through our story, so. And our content has gone up through our story and the season that we're in, so suddenly, little different things are rising where we feel, oh, my gosh, there's a wave. Okay, Lord, what do you want us to do with that wave? Where are we going with that wave? And we're here for it.
Blaine Neufeld [00:22:37]:
We're just you, as usual. But then it's just constantly more favor, more opportunities, more little things on that path, which validates some of this point here. What do you. In our story, what do you think we bring? I have a thought of someone we talked to yesterday, but what do we. What's one of the things that we can leverage in our story?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:22:55]:
Yeah, see me.
Blaine Neufeld [00:22:56]:
Yeah. No, the person.
Kevin Thompson [00:23:00]:
Once again, he's putting you on the spot.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:01]:
Do you notice what is happening today? Leverage our story.
Blaine Neufeld [00:23:06]:
Like, what do we bring when we're chatting to a couple?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:09]:
I think we bring authenticity and just like, hey, this is not unusual to struggle. Every marriage struggles in some way. Yeah, we're okay. We feel confident enough to talk about it and make it, like, let's work through it. Let's get it out on the table.
Blaine Neufeld [00:23:27]:
Yeah. So literally, the thought that I had, because someone we're chatting with the other day, two of us, and he had said, you guys, I'm trying to be more authentic. And he was. And so he says, because you guys are overly authentic, that makes it okay for me to be authentic. And I was like, wow. Because then we started to talk about everything, all kinds of great things that came to light, and he felt hopeful and encouraged by it, and it was really neat. So it's just like, wow, what a. Now, not only our individual gift, I think that there's a couple gifts as well, and many maybe, and I don't know, you know, I don't know that I've ever heard spiritual gifts as a couple, but maybe there's, you know, different words for this.
Blaine Neufeld [00:24:12]:
But you know what I'm saying, where it's like, wow, we have this opportunity to be authentic, to open up the doors and say, guys, literally send the questions in because we're struggling with it. We know people struggling with it. Let's solve it. So that.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:25]:
Well, and when you bring an issue to light, that's the only way it can. Like, if you keep it in the dark, you can't resolve it. And that's where Satan wants to keep you.
Blaine Neufeld [00:24:32]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:33]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:34]:
No, although not that I'm focusing on him.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:37]:
That's another. That's another podcast with other. Other co workers of ours that would go, yeah, go there. All right, so number three, this idea of that you are growing in gratitude not only for God, but also for each other. And so this as your awareness. Notice there's a progression here. Your awareness of God grows so suddenly you're recognizing he's not just up in heaven. My eternal security is good.
Kevin Thompson [00:25:05]:
No, man, he's around. He's active in what's going on, which then makes you more in tune with his love and the love that you have for each other for sure. And so now you have this awareness. Now you're beginning to see his love, which then produces within you this sense of gratitude for him first and foremost, but then also for each other. And whenever you start to grow in this gratitude for each other, it doesn't mean all the bad things go away. It doesn't mean there aren't struggles that take place. Instead, it becomes this concept of those struggles are framed in a bigger picture of happiness, blessedness, gratitude, which then empowers you to either, hey, we can go attack that and make it better and confront it and deal with it, or to put it in a proper context, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal. We're all going to have these imperfections, and that's another episode for another time.
Kevin Thompson [00:26:00]:
But what are the things you need to deal with and what are the things you just need to accept? Gratitude allows us to prioritize those properly. And so I think there's a progression here of awareness leads to love, which now leads to gratitude.
Blaine Neufeld [00:26:12]:
Yeah, I wonder. I wrote it down as well. When I was kind of thinking through some of this stuff, meeting a guy, I wondered how much pride is a blocker of gratitude.
Kevin Thompson [00:26:23]:
Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:26:23]:
Does that make sense?
Kevin Thompson [00:26:24]:
Oh, absolutely.
Blaine Neufeld [00:26:25]:
So, like, I was hearing a guy talk about his story, and I was just like, wow, bro, like you, we don't deserve any of this, and we think that we earned it. And to your point of like, we either or it's A blessing as like, pride is such an interesting tool that, that is used against us so that we, we put our spouse in a certain box of I go and do this and I earn this. You need to do that. Because I, you know, like the roles, I'm like, hold on. Our best values and the, the, the best moments of our life is like when we just, we see each other as a team partner, right? And it just keeps going up and up and up in the best way because we take the pride out of it. It's like we're humble enough to know, what a blessing, what a blessing.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:10]:
So I would look at that, I would say pride is a characteristic of immaturity.
Blaine Neufeld [00:27:15]:
Okay.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:17]:
The more immature we are, the more prideful we are. Think about how we're overestimating our ability, right? Yeah. We can see this in a very playful way, in a cute way that's totally fine. Which is whenever you have a four year old boy and he put the Superman cape on him, he honestly believes he can now fly, right? And that's as cute as can be the imagination that's there, but it's a sign of immaturity. He grows out of that to recognize just because I'm wearing a cape doesn't mean I don't have abilities or I have abilities that I don't actually have. But what's cute in a 4 year old is not very cute in a 40 year old, right? And so the idea of this guy who thinks, look at how great I am and everything I've achieved, everything I've accomplished and literally in his viewpoint, I have done this all and it's complete foolishness, it's total immaturity because he's not recognizing the blessedness of where God has already placed him, the giftedness that God has given him, the opportunities. How easily one thing could have gone wrong and it hasn't. The very heartbeat within his own heart, he's not making it beat.
Kevin Thompson [00:28:21]:
God is allowing that to take place. And so it is maturity that is expressed in gratitude. It's immaturity that's expressed in pride. And we've talked about this in previous episodes in Maturity causes division, right? Maturity causes unity. And so gratitude creates this unifying element within us because we recognize what we don't deserve and we're grateful for what we have. And we can overcome immaturity. Pride leads to the vision and now it's but I really deserve better than you.
Blaine Neufeld [00:28:52]:
And it goes back and forth, right? Like, it's like, you know, resentment towards each other because my opinion Is I deserve this. Well, no, you didn't do this. You hurt me here. And just gonna. I was. When I was talking to this gentleman, he was. He came to a conclusion of. I was like, so how do you think you can get over this pride? He says, I know I have to just pray for a soft, softening of my heart.
Blaine Neufeld [00:29:12]:
That's it. And I have to do it every day and let God work and work and work. What are some steps that people can take if they find themselves in that?
Kevin Thompson [00:29:20]:
And I also think within that, I think intentional steps of generosity will be that as well. Because here's the thing with pride, pride will lead to hoarding, materialism, all those kind of things. Right. And so I'm going to leverage this. What I've been given, I'm going to see more and more of things that I've accomplished, I deserve. And so I'm now going to build this whole life of things I deserve.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:45]:
And.
Kevin Thompson [00:29:45]:
But here's the problem is you're never going to be fully satisfied. You're always going to think that you deserve better or more in some way. And then you get on this treadmill of kind of materialism to achieve and accomplish more, to better satisfy, and you're trying to satisfy a hole that it can't actually satisfy. Whereas if now you begin to see, you know what, there's pride in my heart, how can I begin to give this away? How can I live in a very generous way with my time, with my talents, with my resources, money, all those things? And then I begin to see how God is working through me to impact the lives of other people. Well, that begins to erode away at my pride, because what's happening is generosity is an element of maturity as well. And so as I begin to take these steps of maturity, then it produces within me now a sense of gratitude.
Blaine Neufeld [00:30:29]:
Yeah, that's cool.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:32]:
Does pride block vulnerability?
Kevin Thompson [00:30:34]:
Oh, 100%.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:36]:
Because it's important or like something we want to do is speak life to your spouse. But I feel like for some people, that would be really hard because it's a very vulnerable thing. So if you have pride, you can't even do that.
Kevin Thompson [00:30:51]:
Yes.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:51]:
You won't let yourself get there because.
Kevin Thompson [00:30:53]:
Pride fixates on self.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:55]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:30:55]:
And so to. To. To speak life into somebody else, you actually have to take the spotlight off of you, place it onto them. And now you're calling life out of them, seeing the strengths that are there, which is a very vulnerable piece, because if you speak life to them and then they use the very strengths that You've called out of them against you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:31:15]:
That's not good.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:16]:
Well, that's a dangerous place to be. So it truly does take this trust and respect to lead to this vulnerability toward. Now you can begin to do that and notice the difference here. Unhealthy relationship. Even whenever I do something good, I'm going to speak life into you. That empowers you to. To use your strengths against me, to.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:31:35]:
My destiny, to be stronger, in a sense, against me. Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:37]:
Yes. Whereas in a healthy relationship, as I call strength out of you, you use that now to bless me, which empowers me to do more of that, which then empowers you to speak life into me. And then we have this beautiful reciprocal relationship where our strengths are being used for the wellbeing of each other, whereas in the unhealthy relationship, the strengths are being used to wound each other.
Blaine Neufeld [00:31:59]:
Each other.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:00]:
Yeah. So then what does that look like in an everyday conversation for a couple. Yeah. To like, speak life.
Blaine Neufeld [00:32:05]:
Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:06]:
Into someone.
Kevin Thompson [00:32:07]:
I think it means. I mean, we talked about this a couple episodes ago. What does it look like to speak truth in love? And so I think that's really what it begins to look like. Which means even whenever it is a friction or a frustration of something that has not gone well. All right. It's not truthful just to allow that one thing to define the totality of the partner or the other person or your own experience. What is a truthful statement? It is. Look, this happened.
Kevin Thompson [00:32:33]:
I wish it wouldn't have. We need to figure out a way to do better. And here's all the ways that you tend to do better. Here's what is normal for you in this situation. So what a great opportunity for us to figure out how to fix this. Well, now you're framing the negative in the concept of a much larger positive on a very practical day to day. Normally, Blaine, you would be home when our daughter breaks her head open. It's so unusual.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:58]:
You would think she's probably golfing.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:00]:
Oh.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:33:03]:
Sorry. That was prideful.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:04]:
But the idea then to be intentional and to see what are the giftedness within my spouse that because their own insecurities they don't recognize.
Blaine Neufeld [00:33:14]:
I love it.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:14]:
And let's call life into that and then begin to subtly emotionally push toward what does the expression of that look like? And I'm going to be here to support however things go for good or bad. We're gonna be right here along the way. That's what I think it looks like. And then I think there is a very basic concept of gratitude in the average marriage we need to work on, which is, hey, thank you. Thank you. One of the things I love about my son is we go out to eat and we go to lunch. It's kind of our thing. And whenever we pull in the garage, as he's getting out of the car, he always says, hey, dad, thanks for lunch.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:53]:
Yeah, well, man, what that means to me and how easy for a 17 year old kid like he. I mean, most kids don't recognize I'm doing this. It's our money. I mean, that's what they think, right? They think we have this, we're just.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:34:06]:
Buying it, we deserve that.
Kevin Thompson [00:34:06]:
Yeah, no, that's exactly right. And so just that little thing of gratitude, what does it look like? I mean, Jenny does this without fail. Hey, man, thank you for cleaning the kitchen. You don't have to thank me for that. Like, that's not. It's not like it was your job and I took it over from you. But speaking that sense of generosity and gratitude in the midst of the relationship, I would say please and thank you oftentimes matter more than sex. That it has that impact of creating a connection, which, by the way, there then becomes this connection.
Kevin Thompson [00:34:38]:
Yes, please, please and thank you can lead to more sex if it's in a positive way.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:34:43]:
Yeah. I think we went through a phase of that where we tried to recognize all the little things that we did that you probably took for granted. Like, oh, you clean up the. Thank you for cleaning out the dishwasher. Like, that actually takes so much off my plate in this next hour.
Blaine Neufeld [00:34:58]:
Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:34:59]:
Do you remember? I remember literally, like, deliberately. We were working on that.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:04]:
Wow.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:04]:
Earlier on.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:05]:
Oh, wow. I'm just very grateful. Thank you for remembering that. Honey, when was that?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:10]:
I don't know, but I just remember it being a phase in our relationship.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:12]:
Where we appreciate each other.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:14]:
We didn't want to take the little things for granted that we did. That's good for each other.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:18]:
It's great. That's.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:18]:
It's a great.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:19]:
And it's a. It would be a great application point for those who are listening even right now. Take the next week and be intentional.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:24]:
It's like, I see you, I see what you've done, and. And when you feel seen, I mean, that's the whole thing.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:29]:
Exactly what it is. Look at Adrienne right there.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:32]:
I listened to a podcast the other day. Not.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:34]:
Oh, gosh, not this one.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:36]:
My coffee.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:36]:
You listen to other podcasts?
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:37]:
No. Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:38]:
Am I doing this right?
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:39]:
And they. No, it wasn't.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:40]:
No. But if. Because they're part of the Thrive Podcast network.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:43]:
Yeah. Go listen to our favorite guests.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:45]:
But if they did this, they would be doing it right? Let me tell you. No, this guy was talking about a. A positive talk fast or something or.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:52]:
No, no negative talk. Negative self talk.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:54]:
So, like, he was. He. You're gonna. I'm. Today, I'm not gonna tell myself anything.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:58]:
Neg.
Blaine Neufeld [00:35:58]:
No, negative. You know, he's working on himself or whatever. But I was thinking, what. On the positive side, what if you intentionally. And you made the point, but the listener. One day a week, you and your spouse say, let's just be silly here. And not silly, but silly. Thank you for opening the door.
Kevin Thompson [00:36:14]:
Everything.
Blaine Neufeld [00:36:15]:
Thank you for putting the clothes away. Thank you for. Oh, thank you. Like.
Kevin Thompson [00:36:19]:
No, that's exactly right. So. So we have a friend, Will Robbins. He's a professional golfer, great golf teacher, and he talks about. He'll. He'll do these games as he's training his players. And he says, all right, on the front nine, we're going to be as negative as we can possibly be. And so that means negative to yourself, but more importantly, be negative with each other.
Kevin Thompson [00:36:35]:
So whenever you see somebody who's about to do something, you speak. You speak death into them. You tell them how they're about to fail. After they do fail, you mock them. You do all that. Then on the back nine, we're going to play a game that he calls Grandpa. If you're playing with your grandpa, you can't do any wrong. That if you.
Kevin Thompson [00:36:50]:
If you stumble one off the tee man, you hit that straight. And so then the back nine, it is nothing but positivity. And then they compare the scores. It is striking. It is striking. The difference that happens there with Cash with just the positive talk.
Blaine Neufeld [00:37:04]:
So. And I think I do, like, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm a pretty positive guy.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:08]:
Yeah, I would say so.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:37:09]:
Annoyingly so.
Blaine Neufeld [00:37:11]:
Annoyingly so to you, too. But when I golf, a lot of people will say, wow, I've never. I play so well with you.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:17]:
Yes.
Blaine Neufeld [00:37:18]:
And it's like I always thought it was.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:20]:
Oh.
Blaine Neufeld [00:37:20]:
You know, I think I help people feel comfortable to our point of vulnerability. We're just here having fun, take the pressure off. But I always. Oh, bro, that's a great. Like, look at you now. You have a chance at the green still. Like, wow, that's great. I have a chance at the green.
Blaine Neufeld [00:37:34]:
I should hit the green.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:37:35]:
You don't even realize I do it.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:36]:
So. So this is a side note that we should not chase right now, because this is not a golf podcast. But here's. Here's what I hate about myself.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:37:43]:
Maybe we start one. I won't be on it, let me tell you.
Blaine Neufeld [00:37:46]:
You're the caddy.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:47]:
Hey, you should just be over in the corner. Keep on going. Is this over yet?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:37:50]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll drive the car.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:52]:
Ordering Amazon packages at the same time. But here's what I hate about myself on the golf course is I will be in a match with somebody else, and they're not playing well, which should be a positive for me. My pastor nature kicks in. I can't stand it. And so I will try to find ways to encourage them and to help them, want them to succeed. And then they start playing well, and it irritates me because I'm like, oh, my goodness, I had this match 1. What am I doing?
Blaine Neufeld [00:38:16]:
We don't have the killer instinct.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:38:17]:
Everything's so mental because it.
Blaine Neufeld [00:38:19]:
It is so. And then I'm thinking about caddies, like, how valuable. I always thought, oh, the pros are the pros. They can hit the shot. But no, the mental side of hitting the shot is everything at that level. Right?
Kevin Thompson [00:38:30]:
Yeah. So no doubt. All right, number four.
Blaine Neufeld [00:38:33]:
Very good caddy.
Kevin Thompson [00:38:33]:
We got. We got to move on number four. We're running out of time. So we began with awareness, went to love, went to gratitude, and then what does gratitude produce? It produces obedience. And so are you growing in obedience? And notice this in both omission and commission. Right. So these are kind of theological terms. Our Catholic friends are going to know this.
Kevin Thompson [00:38:52]:
This terminology very well. So are you obeying by your stopping to do the things that you aren't supposed to do? Right, right.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:39:00]:
Wait, what?
Kevin Thompson [00:39:01]:
And then are you obeying. In other words, what are the things that. What are the things that scripture says? Don't to do, don't do. Don't to do, don't to do.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:39:09]:
This is why I'm confused.
Kevin Thompson [00:39:10]:
I don't know what. I'm a professional communicator, Adrienne. I don't know what's wrong here. And now you know, as a listener that we do not edit these podcasts. So in other words, obedience has two tracks. I'm not doing the things I'm not supposed to do. I'm obeying Jesus by. He says, don't do this.
Kevin Thompson [00:39:26]:
I'm stopping. But here's the problem, especially for those of us with a background, Adrienne, you and I tend to have a little bit more restrictive background. For many, that is the extent of obedience. As long as you're not doing the list you're obeying. No, no, no. That is not full obedience. That is partial obedience. Full obedience is then the things that he has commissioned us to do.
Kevin Thompson [00:39:49]:
Are you doing those things? And so one thing that obedience looks like here is. And notice the process. There's a very intentional process. We grow in awareness of who God is. That empowers us with more and more love. It produces a gratitude. Obedience flows out of gratitude. It's not out of drudgery.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:05]:
It's not out of duty. It is now out of a thankfulness for who God is and what he's done for us. Now I want to obey him. So what are the things he says? Stop doing? Let me stop doing that. Let me stop being angry and allowing that anger to express itself with a bitterness and a rage and a slander and a malice. I need to stop those things. Okay, but then, what else do I need to do now? I need to be kind and compassionate, gracious, forgiving in Christ Jesus. So it's this idea of I stop saying the negative things, I start saying the positive things.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:37]:
Right.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:38]:
Because it's both of those tracts.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:39]:
Yeah. You could be like, well, I'm not angry. But you're also not speaking life into your partner. You're not making them feel seen.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:44]:
Yes.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:44]:
Yeah. Like this morning. Is that what you're thinking? Yeah, I know. Please accept my apology. Look at this.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:53]:
This is what we do.
Blaine Neufeld [00:40:54]:
Of course.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:55]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:55]:
Can you just go ahead and venmo me your copay? Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:59]:
Oh, for this session? Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:41:01]:
This is what I'm saying. But what it does is it brings out the silliness of, like, what are we saying?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:41:08]:
Why are we upset?
Blaine Neufeld [00:41:09]:
These words actually matter that we sit and say in frustration because we're reacting to a moment. And, like, to hold our tongue is biblical too. Like, there's times where you just. I can't belittle my husband right now or my wife. And I'm actually gonna say I love you. Even when you're, like, so mad, right? I love you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:41:29]:
Sometimes it's better to say nothing.
Kevin Thompson [00:41:31]:
So here's the thing. Even on a weekend, right, we sing these songs. I think about the Book of Psalms. There are some songs sometimes that I read a psalm, and I'm reading it because I believe it. And I sing songs because, man, this is what I believe. Right now you're on stage. You lead us in worship. There are times when you're singing those songs because you believe them.
Kevin Thompson [00:41:52]:
There are other times you're singing them so that you will believe them.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:41:55]:
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:41:56]:
You don't feel it. But man, this is truth. Let me proclaim truth. And now God take my heart toward that. The same thing whenever it comes to even like speaking life. And even that idea of I love you, even I love you at times is that's truth. I don't feel it now. I'm going to say this now, lead my heart into that feeling.
Kevin Thompson [00:42:15]:
Other times it just comes so easy in what's going on. But the bigger question is, are you as a couple obeying more and more and again not finding it like drudgery, but instead this is life. Jesus has designed us. He knows what's a better way for us to live. We actually now want to lean in. And so this is a sign of maturity as well. Immaturity sees obedience as drudgery. It's going to restrict me, but I just have to man up or woman up and do it.
Kevin Thompson [00:42:42]:
Maturity sees God created. He knows better than I know this is going to lead me to a better way, even if it's hard in this exact moment. And so as we are maturing, as we're growing in the midst of God's will, our obedience is growing in places. You deal with this many times that as you're trying to convince people to use their giftedness in church as generosity. What does this look like, man? What are the areas that you're not fully obeying right now? And how can we increase that in some way? So are you not praying at all? Start praying a little bit. Once you pray a little bit, pray with a pattern of regularity. And then beyond that, how can you increase your prayer life? Same thing with giving. Are you not being generous in any way? Give something.
Kevin Thompson [00:43:22]:
Once you give something, make that a regular pattern, then pick a percentage, move your way up in that way. Are you not serving at all? Serve some way and it's this process that begins to take place.
Blaine Neufeld [00:43:31]:
Yeah. And I think part of the CO mission is we're back to number two with like, sharing your story. I think as you develop these aha moments, I think you're required to share your story in order to honor God's story through you, you know, So I think a lot of people sit quiet because, oh, I'm not qualified. I can't help. No, no. You're asking. God's nudging you to lead a group. He's nudging you to.
Blaine Neufeld [00:43:54]:
You have had an awakening. It's now your responsibility to act upon that like, and use your story, use your giftings also.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:44:00]:
I don't think anyone's really Qualified. That's why we need God.
Kevin Thompson [00:44:03]:
Yeah, that's. No, that's exactly right.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:44:04]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:44:05]:
He uses unqualified people. All right, so let's close this out. So we got a progr. And we're going to end with this basic kind of concept. Are you growing in a trust in ways that stretch your faith? Are you trusting God now in ways that stretch your faith? Obviously, the three of us with Jenny. Jenny's always here.
Blaine Neufeld [00:44:24]:
She is spirit. She's actually behind the camera.
Kevin Thompson [00:44:26]:
Always here in spirit. Yes, that's exactly right. Running the cameras. The four of us know something about this because we have made extreme moves within our lives that apart from Jesus, we wouldn't have made, but because of him we've done that. And they've stretched us. They've had challenges and still are challenges in many ways and then have brought great things. So what are the ways that now you're trusting God? That is testing you a little bit. So notice.
Kevin Thompson [00:44:54]:
Again, notice. This goes back to our original discussion of there's discomfort in this. So there is a correlation between discomfort and being right in the middle of God's will. If you're. If you're completely content. Contentment compatible. Compatible. If everything is absolutely perfect, this is exactly where you want to be.
Kevin Thompson [00:45:10]:
I have some questions.
Blaine Neufeld [00:45:11]:
Yeah, right.
Kevin Thompson [00:45:12]:
If there's a little bit of discomfort.
Blaine Neufeld [00:45:14]:
Ah, yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:45:15]:
I kind of like this. It could be that you're exactly where God wants you to be at this moment. Yeah.
Blaine Neufeld [00:45:19]:
Yeah. Well, no doubt. Anytime that there's been vulnerability of us moving into a new season, you know, kind of going through the threshold of whatever that is and getting to the other side, you're like, wow, first off, that was tough. But, gosh, are we glad we did it because we're fully changed into a. And then it almost feels like it's just a circle, like this idea that you go back to the next one. We are growing in your awareness of God. He just stretched us. Therefore we.
Blaine Neufeld [00:45:48]:
Hey, am I hitting something here?
Kevin Thompson [00:45:50]:
Look at what Blaine just figured out that we did here.
Blaine Neufeld [00:45:52]:
Aha moment.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:45:54]:
I can see it very clearly, can't you, Kevin?
Kevin Thompson [00:45:58]:
So notice. Seriously, what does happen here? Where does trust come from? Trust comes from obedience and God proving himself faithful to you. And that causes you notice. It's not as simple as, oh, I trust him, so I obey him. A lot of times it is I obey him. Oh, and that's growing my trust now.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:46:17]:
Yeah. And then it compounds.
Kevin Thompson [00:46:18]:
Exactly right. And then what happens whenever we get that trust leads to awareness. And as we have greater awareness we're more aware of his love. That empowers us. We become more loving, which increases our gratitude, which causes us to obey more, which leads to more trust. And it brings us back around to greater awareness. I love that. That's exactly where we are.
Kevin Thompson [00:46:36]:
And if you do that, if you do that, you are in the process. Are you ready of being in God's will? Which actually, you know what that can do.
Blaine Neufeld [00:46:45]:
Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:46:45]:
It can change the odds. We'll see you next time.