Kevin Thompson [00:00:00]:
Hey. Welcome back to Change the Odds, the podcast where marriage and family were never meant to be and gave him a chance. My name is Kevin Thompson. Adrienne Neufeld. No, Blaine.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:06]:
I know.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:07]:
That's a shame.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:08]:
I know.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:08]:
He's actually working.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:10]:
Yeah. Who would have thought?
Kevin Thompson [00:00:11]:
But today we have a special guest.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:13]:
Yes.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:13]:
And we don't have many special guests. We just normally have normal guests.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:16]:
Right. This one's super special.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:17]:
Andrew Stanley, welcome.
Andrew Stanley [00:00:18]:
Yeah, thank you so much. Happy to be here.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:21]:
You've been here in the past, but haven't been qualified to be on the Change the Odds, the podcast.
Andrew Stanley [00:00:25]:
So I took care of that. I got. I got my certifications.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:29]:
There's a. There's an actual paperwork.
Andrew Stanley [00:00:30]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:31]:
Yes.
Andrew Stanley [00:00:31]:
Yeah. There is.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:32]:
Your dad. Who signed that? Was that your dad?
Andrew Stanley [00:00:33]:
My dad was the officiant.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:35]:
What was that like? Was that odd?
Andrew Stanley [00:00:37]:
No. I mean, he did my brother and sisters, so it's kind of an obligation. I mean, it'd be weird if I
Adrienne Neufeld [00:00:42]:
was, like, family business.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:44]:
That would have been great, though. That would have been hilarious.
Andrew Stanley [00:00:48]:
But, no, we did get married in North Carolina, so we had to drive to, like, a small, random town to get our marriage license.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:56]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:00:56]:
Had to go to Franklin, North Carolina.
Kevin Thompson [00:00:58]:
Why'd you get married in North Carolina?
Andrew Stanley [00:01:00]:
Just to go to the venue we liked. It's only two hours north of where we live. Okay. Technically, it's in North Carolina, so.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:06]:
So, I mean, most people are already going to know who you are, but let's kind of go through the history a little bit. We talked about. You did a great set last night. Here we're in the middle of our Thrive conference, and so that's why we literally just walked off stage. So. I grew up listening to your grandfather preach. I talked about last night how literally I don't think I'm in the ministry without him. I'm sure you hear that all the time, actually, because he was my model of what preaching is supposed to be like.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:28]:
And so, Charles Stanley, First Baptist Atlanta Classic. Then Andy comes along. So much of how we model church work is off your dad and who he is and what he's all about. I would say probably the best communicator in America of this generation. And now you came along.
Andrew Stanley [00:01:44]:
Now there's the third guy.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:01:46]:
Kevin's really aging himself. Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:01:49]:
We'll see what people say about him.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:01:51]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:01:52]:
So what was it like growing up in that legacy kind of family?
Andrew Stanley [00:01:56]:
I think they made it as. I mean, people ask me that a lot, and it's. I never felt weird. I never felt special. Like, I mean, I did, but I knew people would come up to us at dinner and thank my dad, but I. I don't know, it just never felt that weird. And I think my dad grew up in a similar situation with my granddad being, you know, renowned pastor, and I think he just tried to intentionally make it as not weird as possible. There was not a lot of, like, hey, everybody, we got to sit down and talk about how we're going to handle all of our people.
Andrew Stanley [00:02:27]:
Like, other kids did it. First of all, didn't care.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:02:29]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:02:30]:
Like, nobody at school is, like, giving me special treatment. I had a few teachers, few teachers. I was homeschooled till high school, went to high school, and I never forget freshman year is one of my first classes ever was, you know, biology. And the biology teacher went to my dad's church, and he was so upset because the state was going to make him teach me evolution. I don't know if he did this for all his classes, but, like, the. The week we got to, like, those chapters, he, like, did, like, a speech. He goes, just wanted to let everybody know, the state of Georgia says I have to teach this, but it does not mean that I agree with it. And I think he was, like, making eye contact with me the whole time.
Andrew Stanley [00:03:11]:
He's like, tell your dad that I don't believe about this.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:03:14]:
That's funny.
Andrew Stanley [00:03:14]:
And I was like, listen, dude, I don't even know any of the other science either. So.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:18]:
Yeah. Did you feel pressure growing up? So we had my son on recently, and he. He hates being a pastor's kid, so I have a daughter who loves it, expects to walk into every room, and, you know, everybody knows her. My son can't stand it. And this is. I mean, this is with me in an insignificant way. You are nationally, like, literally internationally known. Your.
Kevin Thompson [00:03:38]:
Your grandfather and your dad. Was there. Was there ever a pressure there of, oh, I have to make sure I'm the perfect Christian, or definitely some pressure.
Andrew Stanley [00:03:45]:
I did always feel and still do feel like I have to represent my family in a way that I think everybody feels that to a degree. But when your family is public facing, you realize, oh, I reflect on not just me, but also my family, but I also, like, would wrestle with that of, like, in growing up, it's like, well, we should all feel that way about God. Right? We should all feel like I'm a reflection, yes. Of Christianity and Jesus. Like, and so if you focus on that, then it kind of trumps the family stuff because it's aligned, like, the things that Make Jesus look good. Also make my family look good.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:16]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:04:18]:
So it was. Sometimes I would be like, all right, I'm making good decisions, but is it because I'm scared? I want to make sure my. My dad looks good or Jesus looks good. And it's. It could be a little confusing.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:04:30]:
Right.
Andrew Stanley [00:04:31]:
Like, I'm representing a lot of different things.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:04:33]:
Yes.
Andrew Stanley [00:04:34]:
That are kind of the same but shouldn't be.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:37]:
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:04:38]:
So I don't know if that answers the question, but I would feel a little bit of that. But in general, like, I never have felt negative about being in a family like this. I always say, like, there are some weird things, but there's way more good things than bad things.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:04:52]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:52]:
That's cool.
Andrew Stanley [00:04:53]:
So I feel like it's more benefits than the not.
Kevin Thompson [00:04:57]:
So in my mind. And I don't spend a lot of time pondering this, but in my mind, I see Andy Stanley, like, giving the perfect sex talk at each. At each stage along the way of making sure. I was just like, it's in the book. Here's how you do this. What's your. What's your memories of those types of conversations?
Andrew Stanley [00:05:14]:
My memories of that. I remember we had a. We went through a book, and I remember it was every young man's battle.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:20]:
Oh, I think. There we go. That's been canceled now, but.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:22]:
Okay. Has it?
Kevin Thompson [00:05:23]:
It has.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:23]:
Oh, tell me, can I tell you off air, what did I learn?
Kevin Thompson [00:05:28]:
It's the idea of we have maybe over. Over positioned that.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:34]:
That.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:34]:
Oh. Like, making it sound like every guy is, like, a porn addict. Right. And it's not necessarily the case.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:39]:
I think that's how I learned about porn. I was like, it sounds cool. I didn't even know to want.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:46]:
Now you're trying to find ways that's out there.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:48]:
Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:05:48]:
Yeah, exactly.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:50]:
Yeah. And then it was. What was the other one that got the. I Kissed Dating Goodbye got canceled. We didn't read that one. I'm just saying. That's another one.
Kevin Thompson [00:05:57]:
Oh, okay. I thought you had read that.
Andrew Stanley [00:05:58]:
No, but I. I. For a few moments, I remember listening to music that had, like, the F word in it. And I remember one time I was in the car with my dad, and I said, dad, does the F word mean sex? And I remember he just goes, no.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:14]:
Oh.
Andrew Stanley [00:06:15]:
And I was like, oh, that's not my experience.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:16]:
But okay.
Andrew Stanley [00:06:17]:
Then later I was like, I think it does. But no, he was very intentional. I think my brother and I about, you know, at certain times, like, being like, all right, we're going to learn about this. We're going to Let me. If you ever have any questions. It's not weird. I don't remember a lot of specifics about how we talked about things.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:33]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:06:33]:
But he definitely didn't ignore it, which I think a lot of dads do. I think. I think maybe I shouldn't say. I think he said that he didn't really get a talk from my granddad.
Kevin Thompson [00:06:44]:
Oh, well, we now have the reel for Instagram on this. I don't know the title is going to be. How did Charles Stanley tell Andy Stanley about sex?
Andrew Stanley [00:06:52]:
I feel like he told me something like, I'm. I really want to make sure that you're comfortable talking to me about this, but. Because I don't think my dad and I ever really talk, but maybe I'm making that up.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:00]:
No, I like it better.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:01]:
Forget that.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:01]:
I like how you said, you should ask him. As though I'm gonna go call.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:04]:
Yeah. When you guys have him in a few weeks on this podcast he's not coming to. When you're on his leadership podcast.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:09]:
I would love. Andy's been here before, but, I mean, as you've experienced, it's a wee bit chaotic here at Bayside. Well, you guys, not so much at North Point.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:19]:
A lot of times when you go speak at things like this, you have a. Your own green room, and people are like, do you need some privacy before you go on stage in 30 seconds? Yes. And I've never been asked that here.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:29]:
No, we have none. We have none of that. We love you. We love you in the room.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:32]:
I'll say. It's so fun. And I feel like I'm better going on stage out of chaos. Like, I like that. It's like, hey, you're on in 20 seconds, by the way. And I'm like, oh, my notes. Where are I Like, all right, well, let's just go.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:42]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:42]:
And it's such a warm, fun group out there that I feel comfortable not going out there with like a. Here's exactly what I'm going to say. And here's.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:07:50]:
Right.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:50]:
Yeah. I mean, your first set.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:52]:
Culture here is unique and fun.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:54]:
Yes. Your first set yesterday, literally, you heard the phrase sex robots.
Andrew Stanley [00:07:58]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:07:58]:
And then. Oh, by the way, here's Andrew Stanley.
Andrew Stanley [00:08:01]:
Yeah. No, you guys. Well, you know, that sounds hard, but, I mean, I do shows at churches all the time. I've gone after death announcements. I've gone after presentations on fatherlessness in the community. I was at a men's conference in Texas somewhere, and they. Before me, they were talking about, like, Their mentoring program for, you know, men in the community. And it was these guys and these little kid, you know, these teenagers bringing them up and saying, you know, we started meeting, you know, he's never known his dad, but now, you know, on stage, they're like, you know, you're my dad.
Andrew Stanley [00:08:35]:
Everybody's crying. It's this emotional thing. And I'm backstage just like, am I allowed to make fun of this when I come out? Because I have to transition from this to comedy. And the most natural way is to poke fun at it, but it feels too important and great and. And then I think I did.
Kevin Thompson [00:08:51]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:08:53]:
I think you have to find a way. The church comedy world is great because you have to find a way to transition out of crazy things.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:00]:
Oh, yeah, that would be a great thing.
Andrew Stanley [00:09:01]:
But here they're fun, crazy things, so it's easy.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:03]:
Like the car. You threw that in.
Andrew Stanley [00:09:05]:
Yeah. They gave away a car right before me yesterday. That was great. It was amazing.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:09]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:09:09]:
But it was like, all right, how
Kevin Thompson [00:09:10]:
do I. Yeah, we're kind of two for two. Two of our last. We have a campus at Folsom Prison. Two of our last guys who got released that have come now to campus. We've given both of them cars, which my fear is. Are we setting an expectation now?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:25]:
I think we are.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:26]:
By our brothers in Folsom Prison. And do we have some people in the audience going, I could go to a little bit of time. If this is what it's going to
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:31]:
do, I'm going to get a car.
Andrew Stanley [00:09:33]:
You go to prison just for the car? Yeah. Yeah. That's not bad. I do think that it's good incentive for people to attend the program in prisons. Like, hey, listen, if you go to enough of these and then you get out, they might give a Mazda.
Kevin Thompson [00:09:47]:
There's a chance. So, Adrienne, I mean, so you're. You're the most famous comedian I've ever met until. Until this moment. But me and Andrew, what's it like? I mean, so you. You love what he does. You pursued after that?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:09:59]:
Yeah, I actually got to open for you two years ago. It was like my first real. I don't know why I shouldn't have gotten that spot, but it went well.
Andrew Stanley [00:10:07]:
They.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:08]:
They. Yeah, I. I don't know. It's hard to know sometimes.
Kevin Thompson [00:10:10]:
I felt like.
Andrew Stanley [00:10:11]:
I feel like. I remember that it went great.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:12]:
It was fun.
Andrew Stanley [00:10:13]:
I can't wait to talk to her in two years, see how far she's come.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:15]:
And guess what? I haven't done it in a year. I haven't done it since last thrive because I kind of got. Yeah. Anyways, it didn't go as well last year.
Andrew Stanley [00:10:22]:
When you're starting out doing stand up, you have to have no other responsibilities
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:27]:
and that is hard as a mom.
Andrew Stanley [00:10:28]:
No one can be relying on you because the hours are all right. This Monday there's a show that starts at 10pm and it's probably not going to be worth it, but I need to go anyway. And then Wednesday I'm going to go put my name in a bucket to see if they pull me out for five minutes in front of a bad crowd. And it's 5050 if I'll even go on stage or sit in this room. And then Saturday I just need to go watch the headliner at the club, see if I can learn anything and show the club owner that I'm around.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:10:55]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:10:55]:
Remind them I exist and yeah. And then Sunday I probably need to do the same thing and it's just a lot of things that only 5% of the time will it actually even be worth it. And trying to sell that to someone who craves time with you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:09]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:11:10]:
Is it's not even the right thing to do.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:11:12]:
Right.
Andrew Stanley [00:11:13]:
So I'm tell Anna all the time like I'm so glad that I put in those, you know, years when before we met and then also while you were in law school and we're just as big busy as me because starting standup when you're already it's possible and you can't. I know people that do it and it's hard. But I'm grateful that I started when I was 23 and nobody cared what
Kevin Thompson [00:11:33]:
I was doing but the brilliance. I give this advice all the time to young guys who are musicians. You've done a brilliant thing. If you want to be a comedian, marry a lawyer. So now at least that part is kind of taking care of you. Pressure's off until you become.
Andrew Stanley [00:11:48]:
Yeah, it was fun when I was, you know, I. I was in corporate finance and was doing just comedy at night and that's when I met on a. She was in law school. I had a day job, you know, cubicle, you know, Joseph A. Bank shirts every day and then I would, you know, take off my costume and go to the club at night in a T shirt and. But right as I was, you know, getting to be 26 and really need the health insurance my company was giving me was when it was. Was like I was out of vacation days because I was finally starting to travel to do Stan.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:12:20]:
Oh yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:12:20]:
I guess I told Anna. I go, we've been dating like a year. And I was like, what do you think I should. She's like, quit your job. And I was like, all right, that's, that's not good. And I go to my parents, I'm like, dad, I should stay at my job. Right? And he was like, no, you don't like your job, do the thing you like. And I'm like, dang it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:12:32]:
Everybody's like, I guess, yeah, you know,
Andrew Stanley [00:12:35]:
can somebody just give me some reasonable, safe advice?
Kevin Thompson [00:12:38]:
So where does your humor come from? Because, I mean, I, I get. It feels like maybe not necessarily the guys you hang around with. It feels like so many comedians are well known to being extremely dysregulated, have very difficult backgrounds and somewhat melancholy. And then again, get on stage and make fun of it because they feel so much. You brag about your upbringing being healthy, having a healthy upbringing.
Andrew Stanley [00:13:00]:
I know.
Kevin Thompson [00:13:01]:
Where does the comedy come from?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:13:02]:
That was one of my things. Like, I have no trauma. What can I pull from? I was like, I had a really great childhood and so did you. It's right, it's now it's like, he golfs.
Andrew Stanley [00:13:12]:
There's. I told my parents all the time ago, if you guys have been worse parents, I would be such a better comedian.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:13:16]:
That's how. That's exactly what I.
Andrew Stanley [00:13:18]:
Come on, you thought you were giving me a gift. You're really robbing me of a career.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:13:21]:
No testimony. What do we have?
Andrew Stanley [00:13:23]:
You know, I think the trauma or like the hard or like the quirk thing for comedy or artists in general. It is like true for a lot of people, but it's not as true. It's not as. It's a stereotype that is there for a reason. But it's not like most of my best friends in comedy are pretty. Had pretty nice life. Like, it's not like, like you have to go through things to get to where you're good at. Stand up.
Andrew Stanley [00:13:49]:
So. And you also have to have some space in your life to fill with it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:13:55]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:13:55]:
Like nobody's like, I have a jam packed, content, great life where I'm happy with every aspect. And I'm thinking I'm now going to try stand up.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:14:02]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:14:03]:
Like, I didn't have any of this heavy trauma stuff or who knows, maybe in a few years I'll be like, actually I did. Yeah, burying it, but I don't know of any. But I did have a weird life. You know, I have. It helped me that I think I felt like I had a unique situation growing up. Like, I was homeschooled preacher, big megachurch preacher, family. So I at least felt like I had interesting things to talk about. But I also felt like so much of comedy is being relatable to people.
Andrew Stanley [00:14:30]:
And a lot of people have nice, you know, upbringings and can make fun of their parents for things, but it's not like they hate each other and it's not like something happened to them. And so the type of comedy I do is a lot of stories about growing up, a lot of stories about marriage and having kids, and it's just relatable. And if you can take something that's relatable and add a unique comedic spin to it, that's like, people want that.
Kevin Thompson [00:14:54]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:14:54]:
So does.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:14:55]:
Does your wife think you're funny? Do you tell her all your jokes? Like, do you practice in front of her?
Andrew Stanley [00:15:00]:
Yeah, yeah. I will usually run something by her. There's. She doesn't love. She always goes, I really like stand up comedy.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:06]:
Great.
Andrew Stanley [00:15:07]:
I'm just like, oh, cool. That's awesome.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:15:08]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:15:09]:
She goes, I like you, but like, we watch Netflix Special. She goes, I don't like this at all. That is so very specific taste. She's like, she loves John Mulaney. She loves. That's kind of the one she says. She goes, I like you and John Mulaney. Everybody else, she loves Lynn Morgan.
Andrew Stanley [00:15:27]:
She's become a friend and she likes, you know, she gets it for other people, too.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:30]:
You're like, who Mulaney would be if he never got addicted to cocaine.
Andrew Stanley [00:15:34]:
Yeah, I'm like the preacher's kid. I do get. People tell me I look like him. Sometimes I think if I had to say, like, my three influences, like on stage, I think I have some Nate in me. I have some John Mulaney, and I have a little bit of Mark Norman of his kind of voice thing. People, those are the three that I get. If you're like, oh, you kind of like, you can remind me of them.
Kevin Thompson [00:15:54]:
How is marriage kind of changed? So you get married. What was it, four years ago?
Andrew Stanley [00:15:59]:
Yeah, September will be four years test.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:01]:
And so, I mean, what's your anniversary date do you have? I like how you.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:05]:
I do get it mixed up.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:06]:
You're looking upward right now.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:07]:
September 24th, 2022.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:10]:
Okay.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:11]:
Sometimes I get it mixed up, I guess.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:16:12]:
2020.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:13]:
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:13]:
September 22nd. Because. But that's the year. So it's on the inside of my.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:17]:
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:18]:
Inside of my wedding day, which I was like, won't this be romantic? And it's really just helped Me remember smart.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:23]:
So in common world you actually got married young. 30.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:27]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:27]:
In the world we grew up in. I grew up in Arkansas. You grew up in Georgia. That's way late.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:32]:
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:16:33]:
So what was it like around the church and around the house early on in those years that you're in college, everybody's like, oh, here it comes and nothing happens.
Andrew Stanley [00:16:41]:
Yeah, I went to Auburn too, which is like got to be the youngest marriages in the world. Like everybody was like, they got found their girlfriend or boyfriend. Freshman year, you date all four years and ring by spring. And there's like so many. But we went to, we would like three weeks after graduation, I went to one of my friends weddings.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:17:01]:
Oh, wow.
Andrew Stanley [00:17:02]:
And so that was very normal. And I didn't even really date that much in college. I mean I had a girlfriend. I mean I had like two girlfriends, but not for long. Totally my decision, but like I just never.
Kevin Thompson [00:17:13]:
It was a conscious choice. Not yours, but a choice nonetheless.
Andrew Stanley [00:17:16]:
I guess I don't even know why I felt this way, but I did not feel like that's what I was gonna do. And I didn't crave that like some of my friends did. And I think at Auburn I. People kept saying this phrase, man, these are gonna be the best four years of your life. I just remember feeling so sad about that. I'd be like, oh no, it's now. Yeah, I had the best time in college up to that point. Like those were the best four years of my life.
Andrew Stanley [00:17:40]:
But I just never felt like after this, just start doing the family thing because there's nothing in between. There's nothing between college and family. And I don't know why, because I didn't have anything lined up. I didn't know I was going to be good at stand up comedy, but I just felt like there's got to be a season of being, you know, single or at least an adult with a job that doesn't immediately have all these responsibilities.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:04]:
So are your siblings older or younger?
Andrew Stanley [00:18:06]:
Younger. Okay.
Kevin Thompson [00:18:07]:
Did they get married before you or.
Andrew Stanley [00:18:08]:
They both got married before me. My brother got married pretty much right after college. It was for him, it was just. He found his exact right person and it was just made a lot of. He was not trying to, I don't think, but I think some people you get. You get intercepted by the best possible situation. Then my sister after seminary. So yeah, kind of right after graduate school.
Andrew Stanley [00:18:30]:
But I don't know, I never felt pressure from inside the house. My dad was 30 when he married my mom, so I think in the back of my mind, too. I always had, like, my dad got married. He was 30. But I met Ana when I was probably 26 or 27, and she was in law school. And she told me on our first date, like, not even that marriage came up, but she was like, I don't want to get married till I'm 30 because I got this big career plan. I'm going to graduate law school. I'm going to get a job at this law firm.
Andrew Stanley [00:19:02]:
I'm going to. I want to have a career, and then I want to start a family. And both those things are very important to me. But I know that if you do the family too early, then the career becomes harder to get off the ground. Similar to stand up, I guess. She's always planning, big planner, way ahead. We fall in love. And she's like, all right, you know, I may not have to wait all the way till 30.
Andrew Stanley [00:19:19]:
But she at least wanted to get through law school. She would go, I don't want to plan a wedding while I'm studying for the bar exam. Or while I'm. I don't want to plan a wedding while I'm in law school. And I would say, you know, well, that's great, because I don't want to plan a wedding until I'm sure you're going to graduate from law school and get a great job. At a loss.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:33]:
I don't want that debt on me.
Andrew Stanley [00:19:34]:
Yeah. Yeah. So we were both kind of on the same page. And we did date, you know, longer than most Christian couples date. And I remember I was.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:43]:
How long y' all date?
Andrew Stanley [00:19:44]:
I mean, like, four years.
Kevin Thompson [00:19:47]:
Oh, wow.
Andrew Stanley [00:19:48]:
Yeah, I think. I don't know. I'm bad at math, but I remember I would do this conference in Phoenix every year, and the pastor's wife one day was just like, so, how long have you and your girlfriend been dating? And I was like, oh, you know, three years. And she goes, that's a lot of dating. And I was like, thanks. Yeah, great. But. So I think we dated three years, then we had a year plus engagement.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:10]:
So.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:11]:
Okay.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:11]:
Yeah, I don't know exactly.
Kevin Thompson [00:20:12]:
So does she have the typical lawyer concept of, like, everything direct and can be improved? And does she. Does she critique you? Does she critiqued your job?
Andrew Stanley [00:20:21]:
She's also Colombian, and, you know, the Latinas are not known for their subtlety either.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:26]:
Very.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:26]:
Like, she's got the double whammy. She's the Colombian attorney. So, yeah, she. The nice thing is you never have to wonder how she feels or what she Thinks because she knows, she knows immediately how she feels about something. She'll see a piece of furniture and show that's not going to work in her house. And I'm like, well, let's think about it for 10 weeks.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:43]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:44]:
Like, you know.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:45]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:46]:
So I do test material on her, especially if it's about her.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:49]:
Yeah. And she's open. She's okay with, like.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:52]:
She's so okay with it. Yeah. I mean, if you're at the show
Kevin Thompson [00:20:55]:
last night, more okay than I could imagine.
Andrew Stanley [00:20:57]:
There's not a lot of.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:20:58]:
No. I mean, she's a good sport.
Andrew Stanley [00:21:00]:
She's a good sport. And. Well, for a while it was funny. Like, I would be traveling and I wouldn't have a lot of jokes about her. And she go, you need to have at least one bit about me. So women know that you're in a relationship.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:11]:
Oh, there you go.
Andrew Stanley [00:21:12]:
Which is fair. Like on stage, you know, people that have always. We weren't engaged or married, so just up there with no ring on.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:17]:
So, you know, for those that haven't seen it, you did, you know, a five to seven minute bit last night on her breast augmentation.
Andrew Stanley [00:21:24]:
Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:21:24]:
Which is hilarious.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:25]:
Is the first time I've ever come out on stage to close something following seven minutes of jokes about breast augmentation.
Andrew Stanley [00:21:32]:
Yep.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:32]:
Right. So. So did that become inserted? Because of. Inserted is a bad phrase there?
Andrew Stanley [00:21:38]:
Yeah, it was.
Kevin Thompson [00:21:39]:
Was that her choice from the standpoint of to have that in your bit, or did you try it out and then say, hey, I got this thing.
Andrew Stanley [00:21:46]:
I remember one day we were talking and I was just like, we were doing dishes or something, and I was like, I just thought of the fun. It was in the midst of her going through that process of like. Which is crazy. It's a crazy process. You go and you sit in a room, you just watch a guy feel up your wife for like an hour. Being like, it'd be nice if you did that. And I'm just like, you guys need my help over there?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:22:08]:
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:22:09]:
What's going on? But I remember I just was thinking of jokes naturally because it's just a funny situation. I'm like, it's funny to me how uncomfortable I am. And the joke's always about me. At the end of the day, it's about how I'm feel like, yeah, you got to put yourself in every joke because the audience will connect with it more because you're the one telling it. So they want to know, where are you in it? Even if you're telling a Joke about something else. It helps if you're this mo. You're. They're seeing it through your eyes, so the more you can kind of.
Andrew Stanley [00:22:33]:
So I'm just thinking it was. I was so uncomfortable the whole time, but I was also excited. And that's just like a funny combination of emotions. It's usually a place that's good for comedy. And so I remember. I don't even remember what the first part of the joke was, but I remember I mentioned it to her and I was like, I could never do this on stage, but, like, you know, this fun. She goes, you can do that on stage? I'm like, I can? Yeah. She's like, yeah, try it.
Andrew Stanley [00:22:55]:
And I started trying it. One of those. That works immediately.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:22:59]:
Oh, yeah, yeah. And I heard you do it two years ago, too, and it. You got, like, huge laughs last night as well, so it's great.
Andrew Stanley [00:23:07]:
I forgot I did it two years ago. And Brennan was yesterday. He was like, man, I think the best joke ever been told at this conference was when you did the boob job. I was like, I did that here.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:23:16]:
Well, because I don't think you were planning on it, but same as last night. You were like, oh, you guys are fun. So I'm going to try this one on you.
Andrew Stanley [00:23:22]:
I forgot how great this audience. They don't care at all. No, I was so. I rarely ever do that one in a church because I'm trying to be respectful to who hired me. And I always have the mindset of. I don't. First of all, most of my materials all fine for pretty much wherever, but this one, I'm like, you know, even if 70% of the audience, it'll be their favorite thing. If it makes, you know, 15%, kind of like, that's fine.
Andrew Stanley [00:23:46]:
And. But if it makes even a little percentage uncomfortable or wish they didn't come or feel, like, awkward, then it's just not worth it. If it's my show and I'm selling tickets, I'm going to do whatever I want. And you build a fan base, people that like the stuff.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:00]:
You do your own show, is it, like, clean? All of it?
Andrew Stanley [00:24:02]:
Yeah. I mean, that's the edgiest bit I have.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:04]:
Can you imagine it not being clean?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:07]:
No, I can't. But I'm, you know. Yeah, I would assume.
Andrew Stanley [00:24:10]:
Yeah, yeah, it's all clean. I mean, my goals to. I'm in churches enough that that holds me accountable. I always want to write stuff that'll work at an event like this.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:17]:
Well, that's what they say.
Andrew Stanley [00:24:18]:
I'M also in comedy clubs the rest of the time, and I want to make sure it's funny enough and relatable enough to search audience.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:23]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:24:24]:
And so it's helpful to have kind of a constraint of, like, I'm writing and stuff that's funny enough for here and clean enough for here, and then that kind of.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:30]:
You can do it anywhere.
Andrew Stanley [00:24:31]:
Helps me have an act that's appealing to a lot of. To a big group of people that don't feel served.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:37]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:24:37]:
And maybe in either direction.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:24:39]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:39]:
How's marriage? I mean, has it added content? I mean, I assume that part has. Sure. But is your. Because fun is such an important part of marriage. Just in general, how. How does outsider looking in. Probably in the same way of your family growing up. Outsider looking in.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:54]:
They're like, this is probably the most spiritual family ever.
Andrew Stanley [00:24:56]:
It's not.
Kevin Thompson [00:24:57]:
It's just a normal family. Normal outsider looking in. Oh, they must laugh constantly. What does it. What does it feel like for y'?
Andrew Stanley [00:25:03]:
All? I mean, it is fun. It's fun. It's not like we're. I'm just making her laugh all the time. But she does think I'm funny, and she will. I'll just get home from the road, and I'll be like, here's what happened. She'd be like, you have to make that a bit. You got to tell that story.
Andrew Stanley [00:25:16]:
There's some stories that I've told her that she's like, you need to do that on stage. And I'm hesitant because I'm like, I don't know if it works. Like, I don't know if it works. It's like a stage story. And she's like, come on, here. You got to do it. So she's very, like, on board and wants to be a part of it and is encouraging to me about that stuff. But it's not like we're just jokes bouncing off the wall all the time.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:25:36]:
Everyone's laughing all the time.
Andrew Stanley [00:25:38]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:25:38]:
Does she ever. I mean, has she been ear. I mean, you know how to go in detail if you don't want to, but has she ever looked at a joke that you've done and she's like, no, we're not doing that one anymore.
Andrew Stanley [00:25:46]:
Not like a whole joke. Very fairly. She will sometimes be like, hey, can you phrase that differently? Because that makes me look like a really, you know, whatever. Like, I remember there's a bit I have about her getting us getting massages together, and the bit is about her being assertive, and I'm not Assertive. And it's about her asking, you know, constantly asking the masseuse to like, hey, can you do more of this? Less of that, more of this, less of that. And I'm over in my chair just like, I did not even know we're allowed to talk to them. Yeah, but if I phrase that wrong, it can make her look like a. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:26:20]:
You know, like a not good person. Like somebody who's just, like, demanding. Yeah. She's like, if you still do it, maybe you can phrase it. Make me look like less of a bad guy. And I'm like, fair. That's totally fair.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:26:29]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:26:30]:
So stuff like that. But for the most part, she's like, don't make me look like a bad person.
Kevin Thompson [00:26:36]:
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:26:37]:
Which is pretty reasonable request.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:26:39]:
Yeah, I don't think you do.
Andrew Stanley [00:26:40]:
I'm trying to think of other examples. It's fun to highlight how we're different. And sometimes if I'm not careful, it can make me look like the good guy. Her. The bad guy instead of just that word.
Kevin Thompson [00:26:48]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:26:50]:
But for the most part, she's pretty comfortable with. With whatever part of that is the Latin culture. Like, they're very, like, not private people. Like, they're very, like. Even in terms of, like. Like, the boob job thing, she's like, in my culture, like, that's not weird to talk about. That's like, people are proud of what they did. They're like, oh, yeah, I got, you know, I got lip and lip filler the other day, and here's why.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:09]:
That's, you know, it's just not like, in the South. Like, especially the south where I grew up in Georgia and where you grew up like that. If you. If. If a woman does that, it is not a topic of conversation. Probably even with her friends.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:20]:
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:21]:
You don't really talk about it.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:22]:
Don't ask.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:22]:
Everyone knows.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:23]:
Everybody knows. And they all talk about it behind your back.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:26]:
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:26]:
Oh, yeah. But it's not the Latin culture. They're just, like, so open.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:27:30]:
That's really cool, actually.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:31]:
And they're way more comfortable with conflict, which is great for me. Good for me to see. My Anna will be on the phone, you know, talking in Spanish, you know, Sounds like a heated conversation with, like, somebody. And I don't even know she's talking to him. Like, who were you just fighting with?
Kevin Thompson [00:27:46]:
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:47]:
And she's like, I was just talking to my aunt. I'm like, yo, we're not fighting. She's like, no. I'm like, oh, well, I'VE never spoken to anyone with that.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:55]:
Yes.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:55]:
Cadence before my life.
Kevin Thompson [00:27:57]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:27:58]:
But they're just passionate. You know, they get fired up, and it's not weird.
Kevin Thompson [00:28:02]:
I feel like Anna and Andrew are the same enneagram combination of me and Jenny. That it's.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:28:06]:
I know. I was thinking, does Jenny tell you to say things differently?
Kevin Thompson [00:28:10]:
Oh, absolutely.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:28:11]:
Yeah. I thought so.
Kevin Thompson [00:28:11]:
She doesn't. She doesn't really eliminate much of anything, but it will be, hey, phrase it this different way or. And I always like you. It's always, I got to be the bad guy. She has to be. Be the good. She's not on stage.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:28:22]:
That's one of your, like, golden rules.
Kevin Thompson [00:28:24]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I never make a joke about her at her expense. It's always, I'm the idiot. She's the brilliant one.
Andrew Stanley [00:28:29]:
Yeah. That works better on stage anyway.
Kevin Thompson [00:28:31]:
I like how you.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:28:32]:
Nobody.
Kevin Thompson [00:28:32]:
I like how you just said jokes as if I'm a comedian. Yeah. You know, the greatest compliment you've ever given me.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:28:37]:
You're funny. You guys are. You're funny. When you go into, like, a circle of, you know, like, just a hangout, do you feel like you always have to be the funny guy? Like, do you struggle with that identity of, like, funny's my thing? Because one time I. Someone followed me on Instagram and we went to dinner. I was also pregnant, so I wasn't, like, my best self. But after the dinner, I heard she
Kevin Thompson [00:28:59]:
was like, oh, she's like, oh, they were disappointed.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:01]:
Yeah, they were disappointed with me.
Andrew Stanley [00:29:02]:
They're like, she's just, like, a regular person. What's going on?
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:04]:
Yeah, she's not as funny at all. I'm like, well, yeah, Instagram's like, a character.
Kevin Thompson [00:29:08]:
You wanted a bit.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:09]:
I know. I don't even.
Andrew Stanley [00:29:10]:
So I did, like, six versions of that video before it was right.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:13]:
100. There's editing. So I don't know. Do you ever, like, feel that tension?
Andrew Stanley [00:29:18]:
Yes.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:19]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:29:20]:
And you have to let yourself off the hook. I always, like, I'm so much. It's probably not healthy. I'm so much more comfortable around people if I know they've seen me perform, because then they know, like, they, like. They know I'm funny. I don't have to feel like I have to prove it. Or they're like, is this guy good? Or, like. Yeah, there's just a comfortableness that comes with, like, they saw me do the thing that I'm the best at.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:40]:
Right.
Andrew Stanley [00:29:41]:
And then. Then you. The pressure is kind of off. Anna and I have a bunch of Friends that we made right around when, when she was pregnant and she. We made a. We kind of got pulled into this new friend group in Atlanta. A lot of people our age that live in the area we live in, they have young kids and we've started like that's become a kind of our new friend group.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:29:59]:
Great. Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:00]:
And it was like she became friends with all these women and then I'm meeting all the husbands. A lot of them are a little bit, a little bit older and you know, they're all, they're these guys that own their own kind of sell. Buying and selling companies and you know, it's just very impressive kind of business.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:12]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:13]:
Mindset group. And then they're meeting me and this is Anna's husband. She's. He's a comedian.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:18]:
I think that's the coolest thing.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:20]:
Well, they're also not. They're also interested in it. They're asking questions. But we'd been friends. I've been friends with these guys for about six, you know, almost a year.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:28]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:28]:
And then finally I had my. I do a recurring show at this club in, in Alpharetta, Georgia. It's. I call it Andrew Stanley has Friends and it's me. And then I bring four friends to stand up.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:40]:
Oh, that's so cool.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:41]:
Prove that I have friends and we have a good show.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:30:43]:
That's great.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:43]:
We do it once every few months. So we invited all the, all of our friends to come to it and it was a great, awesome show. I brought up Jeff Foxworthy at the end as a surprise. It was like the most impressive.
Kevin Thompson [00:30:51]:
Like, I did all the flex of a friend.
Andrew Stanley [00:30:53]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy legend. At the end, everybody's like, you know, and so after the show, my friends are coming up to me.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:00]:
We're.
Andrew Stanley [00:31:00]:
We already like each other. We hang out, we've been on trips together. Like, it's not like a. Yeah, it's a good relationship. But they were like, Andrew, you're like the real.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:31:08]:
You're like a big deal.
Andrew Stanley [00:31:09]:
Like, oh, you're gonna. This isn't like a fun little thing for you? Like, you could tell they were like, oh.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:14]:
Everybody felt bad for Anna previously, like, you know, her husband, comedian.
Andrew Stanley [00:31:18]:
Now they're like, oh, you're great. This is fun.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:31:20]:
And you're like, yeah, but I know.
Andrew Stanley [00:31:22]:
Can you imagine though, how stressful it would be to become friends with someone who, you know, is a stand up comedian and you maybe saw a clip on Instagram or something, but you're like, man. And then you're going to their show, and you're like, man, if this is not good, how it'll. I will not be able to look at them the same.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:31:36]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:36]:
It's a whole episode of Seinfeld, remember, where the girlfriend didn't like Jerry's act.
Andrew Stanley [00:31:40]:
Exactly.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:40]:
He was so offended. What do you mean you don't like my act?
Andrew Stanley [00:31:42]:
It's like, the thing I'm most proud of. I've worked the hardest on. And you get to come to work and see exactly how good I am at my job, and that will affect a relationship. So that you could tell they enjoyed the show, but they were so relieved.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:31:55]:
Like, oh, thank goodness. He's good.
Kevin Thompson [00:31:57]:
Well, they were afraid they're going to have to get a new friend.
Andrew Stanley [00:31:59]:
Yeah. And now they're like, yeah, they're. Yeah. So, yeah, it definitely. You definitely do feel different dynamics with people if they've seen you before, if they haven't. Or even, like last night at the bonfire thing we went to, it's like, yeah, like, I need to try to make sure I say at least a few funny things.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:14]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:14]:
Like, but also, that's fun. But. Yeah, it's. It is a pressure. But you try not.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:19]:
But you're not, like, always the same person in a bonfire that you're on stage.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:23]:
Not even close.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:24]:
No. Because that's a whole. Like, it's an act.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:26]:
Yeah. It's literally react.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:27]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:28]:
Thankfully, my on stage Persona, sense of humor is similar to my office. Some people are. Is not as aligned.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:34]:
Right.
Kevin Thompson [00:32:34]:
You're not a Bob Saget, is what you're saying.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:36]:
Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Robin Williams, Bob Saget, people bringing their kids to see him, and it's dirtiest act you've ever seen.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:44]:
Yeah, the.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:46]:
Yeah, that. That can be hard. But even, like, I think about a guy like Larry the cable guy who's kind of doing a character on stage and off stage. Do you turn it on when you meet people or.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:32:56]:
Right.
Andrew Stanley [00:32:56]:
Hey, I'm. I'm Dan. Like, I don't know him, but I imagine that's a different type of tension to feel.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:01]:
How hard is it to deal with other people who are trying to prove they're funny to you?
Andrew Stanley [00:33:05]:
That happens. I don't mind it. I'm comfortable with people trying to be funny. Like, that's like. I like that. Like, I think even if it doesn't work, I think it's like a fun. It's a vulnerable thing to do. It's vulnerable to try to be funny to people in a way where they know you're trying well, that's the hard
Adrienne Neufeld [00:33:23]:
thing about comedy is, like, you're constantly failing in front of people all the time.
Andrew Stanley [00:33:26]:
You have to.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:33:27]:
That's. That's the gig. It's like, fail to learn. Failure is feedback.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:31]:
How'd you. How did you get over that? Because.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:33:33]:
Yes, please tell us.
Kevin Thompson [00:33:34]:
That's a comment I've had before for people of, you can't be funny because you're not willing to not be funny, because you have to be willing to not be funny in order to maybe find something that actually is.
Andrew Stanley [00:33:44]:
Yeah, Yeah. I think it helps. It helped me to realize that everybody at this open mic is trying new stuff, and nobody's batting a thousand. And you're not. If you're batting a thousand, then you're not taking enough risks. And it's hard to not do well and get off stage and be like, wow, everybody here doesn't like me that just saw me. Like, everybody's just like. And I don't know, you get a little desensitized to it because you realize when I'm trying new stuff, it's just.
Andrew Stanley [00:34:14]:
Just not always going to work, and it shouldn't. You have to have enough stuff that works to still feel good about yourself. Like, when I started out, thankfully, I had a few things that worked. And so if, you know, if. Half my set went well, half went bad, I was like, awesome. Half my set went well. I can't believe it.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:34:32]:
Oh, yeah. It's like a positive. Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:34:33]:
But the biggest thing that helped me get on stage and I don't know, I want to hear about how you got on for the first time. But, like, I knew I was going to do an open mic, and so I went to just watch one, and it's, you know, 25 comedians doing five minutes each, and all you had to do is sign your name to get on the list. And I remember watching it and be like, oh, I won't be the worst. Some of them are just crazy people that just show up and sign their name and talk, you know, have. Doesn't even make sense.
Kevin Thompson [00:34:59]:
That's how I got through grad school. I picked one professor that it was an idiot. And I'm like, well, they got their degree, so surely I can get my degree.
Andrew Stanley [00:35:05]:
That's the best way. Find somebody that's very bad. Yeah.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:35:09]:
And compare yourself to that.
Kevin Thompson [00:35:10]:
Do you remember your first joke? I mean, the first true joke that was yours that you wrote?
Andrew Stanley [00:35:15]:
I do, yeah. It was one that I still have. It'll be in the special that comes out this year. So it wasn't a good version of it, but it grew. It stayed in. Like the concept of it stayed in. I probably did it here one of these conferences before. But it's the idea.
Andrew Stanley [00:35:30]:
I did it at my mom's 50th birthday party because it was like, we did a big party and people were like giving speeches and I was like, I'm gonna go tell this funny idea I thought of which the premise was that my mom, when she gets. She's getting older because it was her 50th birthday party. So that was like the premise. And it was like, you know, we're gonna have to put her in a nursing home one day, but that's too expensive. So I think what I'm gonna do when the time comes is just frame her for a crime, have her go to prison. That's a free nursing home. So the concept was free nursing home is prison. And then it's like, well, it's kind of the same, you know, you got a roommate, you don't know, but nobody remembers why they're there.
Andrew Stanley [00:36:10]:
Like, I don't. Your kids don't visit as much as they said they would. And then it was the big punchline at the end that would really work. That helped me early on to have something I felt like really worked is I would do all these homeschool jokes. Then I would go back and I would say, you know, but for being honest with myself, it's not just a money thing. I think I'm still upset with her for homeschooling me. And I feel like that's pretty fair. I didn't get to go to real schools, she doesn't get to go to real nursing home.
Andrew Stanley [00:36:34]:
And that kind of tied it in. It was a callback and it would. Even if the joke didn't work, that thing at the end would get a laugh and you'd be alright. Thanks. Good night, everybody. You can get off on a laugh. Oh, yeah. It kind of heals the wounds for other stuff not working.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:36:45]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:36:46]:
And so having something like that, that would work at the end. But even at my mom's birthday party, I remember people were like, that's pretty funny.
Kevin Thompson [00:36:52]:
There you go. And so how has it been? You're on the road a lot. I mean, this is my guess. I mean, I don't know. I'm not. I play an extra on the Internet, but not in real life. My guess is a lot of comedians don't have great marriages.
Andrew Stanley [00:37:05]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:05]:
Because of the schedule. I'm always terrified of what's happening. What's it been like, how, how do you all stay connected? How do you, how does she support you yet without it being one sided? If it's always we're chasing Andrew's dream and never Anna's dream, that's gonna be
Adrienne Neufeld [00:37:18]:
a problem now because you have a daughter, right?
Andrew Stanley [00:37:21]:
Yeah. It gets harder. The more people you love, the harder it gets to leave.
Kevin Thompson [00:37:25]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:37:26]:
I used to want to be on the road like 300 nights a year and now it's like, leave again, you know? You're exactly right. There's a, I always say like, in terms of like being a good husband, being a good dad in the comedy world, there's just a lot more bad examples than good examples. So anytime I meet somebody that's a good example, I'm like, tell me everything. And two guys that I talk to a lot about, one of them is Foxworthy. He kind of famously would. When even when he was at the height of his touring, he would literally just fly private. He would spend all the money to fly private and get off stage, go straight to the airport, fly home overnight, wake up and make his daughter's breakfast in the morning.
Kevin Thompson [00:38:04]:
Yeah. I heard him tell the story that I.
Andrew Stanley [00:38:06]:
Financially. That makes no sense.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:38:07]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:38:08]:
That the daughters didn't know, they didn't recognize.
Andrew Stanley [00:38:10]:
No. They're never going to appreciate it till later.
Kevin Thompson [00:38:12]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:38:12]:
There's no way for them to understand. Well, the commercial flight costs this and it would have me home the next day at this time, But I played 17 times or whatever.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:38:21]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:38:22]:
And so like, obviously not everybody's in position to do that, but that mindset of priority, I am willing to not sleep in order to be able to do both of these things. Well, yeah. And you have to sacrifice something.
Kevin Thompson [00:38:33]:
Who is the second one?
Andrew Stanley [00:38:34]:
The second one is my buddy Dustin Nickerson, who's hilarious.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:38:36]:
Oh yeah, I know who he is.
Andrew Stanley [00:38:37]:
He's doing, he's, he's getting, you know, he's got a big career. He's on the road selling out comedy clubs and is fantastic. He lives in San Diego.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:38:45]:
He's clean too, right?
Andrew Stanley [00:38:46]:
Yes.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:38:46]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:38:46]:
He's been a good friend for a long time and he had, he started having kids when he was like 20. So he and his wife got married like right after college, started having kids immediately. He has a kid in college now and he's like, I want to say he's like 38 or something. Like, like. Because they think they had their first. He was 20. So he's had kids and been married the whole time. He's been doing Standup and he travels.
Andrew Stanley [00:39:08]:
I mean, probably more than me. He opens for Taylor Tomlinson. He's open in for Nate. He's opening for people. He's doing his own weekends at clubs.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:39:14]:
So can I just say that makes me so mad as a woman that. That I have to. I can't. I don't feel like the sacrifice is as available. It's like, oh, he did it while he has kids. Well, sorry, that's just a tangent.
Kevin Thompson [00:39:27]:
No, I think it's. I think it's very legal.
Andrew Stanley [00:39:29]:
Fair. Well, even before talking about family stuff, my female comedy friends who are not married and have no commitments try traveling as much as we do and especially doing the clubs. Staying in the areas you have to stay in alone, traveling alone, driving at night. I mean, rental cars, weird hotels. Like, it's just a dangerous, hard. Everything's a little harder. Yeah. Harder to win over an audience right away.
Andrew Stanley [00:39:55]:
Male audiences are like, oh, it's a girl. Like, she better be good. Like, you have a harder. It's. It's so much harder.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:00]:
Yeah. Thank you for seeing me right now.
Andrew Stanley [00:40:02]:
Good of a guy.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:03]:
I feel seen to.
Andrew Stanley [00:40:04]:
To recognize that.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:05]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:40:06]:
So 100. And then with obviously, like the mother versus father, like stereotypes, but also just the reality.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:13]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:40:13]:
Like, it's not. It's a stereotype, but also like a lot more is genuinely required of a mom.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:40:18]:
Yeah. And I love those ages that I get to raise my kids and like, you know, I love that I get to be home with them. But there's that little piece where it's like, this is a sacrifice. And sometimes I feel a little resentful that my husband gets to go out just speaking for the women that are listening.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:32]:
No, absolutely. I think in part, maybe there's other ways around that, but I do think there's a part of. All right. If we are sacrificing for his career early on, when the kids are little and all those things, there needs to come a moment where that switches that. Okay, let's say the kids are out of the house. This is your season. And so now I'm willing to sacrifice. What if my career takes a step back? What if we make some kind of sacrifice here? Because if it's all.
Kevin Thompson [00:40:56]:
It's just not equal. If it's always about his career. This is what I hate about ministry. If we're not very careful, a lot of guys like me will say, well, we move for, because we're the next church that's calling me. Well, there's sinners everywhere. Why can't we go where she wants to live and then you do your work. That's actually there.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:41:12]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:41:14]:
There can be a tendency of like, well, it's my job, so we just got to move the faith. Like. But it's like, yeah, it, yeah, it's a lot. And we're. I'm still trying to figure out how to do it. Well, I mean we talk about it all the time. Our biggest tension in our marriage is probably the calendar and how, how many nights are we going to be on? What are we going to say yes to, what are we going to say no to? You know, if we say yes to this, then if something else comes up in that month, are we just going to say no to it no matter what or. We were going to say we, you know, we filled up this month.
Andrew Stanley [00:41:38]:
It's got this many nights away and we weren't going to do anything else, but we got a really good opportunity. Can I do it? What do you think? And it's just a lot of hard decisions because you're either trading off an opportunity or trading off time at home. And it's just a balance. Intention to manage.
Kevin Thompson [00:41:53]:
Do you feel in comedy that there is a lifespan, that there's an arc that you can have or do you feel like that it is something you can literally become a different funny over generations? I mean, obviously you have the Seinfeld examples of things like that. That's just been funny forever. But it seems like comedians struggle for a long period of time, become extremely popular and then they're playing the casino in Oklahoma on a Saturday night.
Andrew Stanley [00:42:20]:
Yeah. Social media has changed everything. So there's no hard and fast rules of like here's how it goes. But early on it's demanding because it takes so much time and effort to get good at it. There's a reason there's not a lot of extremely successful, popular stand up comedians in their 20s is because in your 20s you're still learning how to do it to the level that it takes to become famous.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:42:44]:
That. And you don't have the life experience that you kind of need.
Andrew Stanley [00:42:47]:
Exactly. You're really, you're in grad school for 10, the first 10 years and it's just. And you don't even know. There's no guarantee you're gonna make it. You might put in all that work and then not make. Most of the time people don't. And so it's a crazy thing to do because it's such a commitment and you have to make so many sacrifices just hoping that you will become funny. Enough and hoping that you'll connect with people in a way that allows you to continue to grow your career.
Andrew Stanley [00:43:11]:
I mean, most the best comedians in the world are in their 40s and 50s and they've been older. I mean, you don't lose, you don't get less funny. You might get less relatable or your audience might grow out of seasons of their life when they're available to buy tickets. You know, it's also like the ticket buying audience. Like when people are in their 20s, they're not able to buy as expensive of a ticket. But so if your fan base is your age, you naturally will. Your career will go better. If you can keep the people your own age with you, then that's a nice, you know, you have that when you're in that sweet spot of, you know, 30 to 60 or whatever.
Andrew Stanley [00:43:45]:
Like that's the sweet spot for an audience. So that should kind of be sweet spot of your career. You can have an urgency to like chase success. If you have a big moment, you want to be able to capitalize on it. You want to be able to chase it, you want to be able to leverage it. But also like that's nothing, nothing can make you less funny. Like it's a bad example. It's funny like when comedians would get, you know, canceled or whatever.
Andrew Stanley [00:44:08]:
Like it doesn't make him less funny. Yeah, like Bill Cosby, horrible guy. Turns out he was a terrible guy the whole time. The moment we he got put in jail, he did not get any less funny. Like you can't take away someone's ability and who he's probably, you know, we're not trying to say anything nice about that man, but like it's taking a turn. I did not expect to me to think that.
Kevin Thompson [00:44:32]:
Can we get back to the breast augmentation? I'm more uncomfortable.
Andrew Stanley [00:44:35]:
But like you can, you can't make somebody less funny. So I think people get better as they go, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I would not buy a ticket to see.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:44:47]:
Just a disclaimer. We do not support.
Andrew Stanley [00:44:48]:
What has parenting been like, so fun.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:44:52]:
How old is she now?
Andrew Stanley [00:44:53]:
She is about ten and a half months.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:44:55]:
Oh, today.
Andrew Stanley [00:44:57]:
Today, ten and a half.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:44:58]:
Oh, and you're not there.
Andrew Stanley [00:44:59]:
I'm not there. Sorry for the big.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:45:02]:
The mom guilt. The guilt. So sorry. I take that back.
Andrew Stanley [00:45:06]:
It's funny.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:45:07]:
You're making the money, you're providing friends
Andrew Stanley [00:45:09]:
that like or comedian friends that are trying to do the same thing. And it's back to your question, like how do you get it right? And, like, how do you. And so the advice Dustin Nickerson gave me, I was like, how do you handle being gone so much and still be, like a good parent? And he goes, you just have to accept that you are going to be gone and miss some things that other parents are there for. But if you do it right, you'll also be home for some things that other parents are not available for. When you're home, you can be all the way home. And he said, you know, when I'm in my hotel room for a day in between shows, I am trying to get everything done that I can so that when I'm home, I don't have to do it. I want to be when I'm on the plane, when I'm in the hotel room, when I'm. When I have to be away from my family anyway, that's when I want to be as productive as possible so that when I'm home, I can just be all the way home.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:45:57]:
So he's, like, riding in the hotel on the airplane. So when he's home, he's not divided.
Andrew Stanley [00:46:01]:
Yeah. He's like, this isn't my rest time. This is my get stuff done. So when I'm home, I can be the best version when I'm home.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:46:08]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:46:08]:
And so trying to have that type of mindset is important. And, you know, one thing we did, which, you know, Ana, obviously I mentioned, she's an attorney and she works at a big law firm and is busy in the office for a bunch of days, is like, we just said we're going to have a nanny. Because when I'm out of town and she's gonna live in our house, and so we have a nanny that lives with us. And it's like, if I'm gonna. You know, it's expensive, but it's like, this is what will be a worthwhile sacrifice for us to be able to still have. Be able to each pursue the things that we feel called to pursue.
Kevin Thompson [00:46:42]:
Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:46:42]:
And thankfully, we're able to do that. But it gives me so much peace. When I'm gone, though, Anna's not alone, even. We just have one child right now. It's like being alone, you know, like being alone with a baby is. You can't do anything else.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:46:55]:
Nope.
Andrew Stanley [00:46:55]:
Even when she's taking a nap, you're like, wait, that's when I wash the clothes.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:46:57]:
That's when I do this, there's never really a break. Yeah.
Andrew Stanley [00:47:00]:
And so I'm like, if I'm gonna be gone this many Nights a year. What can we do to make it to where it's. When I get home, she's not just, like, depleted. I can't just let her get depleted down to zero. And also, I want her to be able to do this job as long as she wants to do it. So, like, finding things that, like, on paper is like, hey, this is, you know, a big commitment. But, like, what would we rather spend our money on than the peace and the ability to still pursue what we want to pursue? So, like, making. Trying to make decisions like that.
Andrew Stanley [00:47:32]:
And look at it zoomed out to. Whereas, like, we want our family to be. We want to be able to have a healthy family even though we don't have a traditional. MM schedule. Yeah, we have weird hours.
Kevin Thompson [00:47:44]:
If you could go back and give yourself one piece of advice on marriage that you know now that you didn't. I mean, there's some things you can't know until you know.
Andrew Stanley [00:47:51]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:47:52]:
What. What would be the thing that you. Look, you see marriage now a little bit differently than. Than what it was 45 years ago.
Andrew Stanley [00:48:00]:
One thing. I mean, the thing that I learned immediately when we got married. Well, it's just how selfish I am. Like, you just because I look, you know, I never had. You know, we didn't live together until we got married. So, like, there's even just starting to live together, you start to feel like, oh, yeah, I can't just leave whenever I want. Like, it's a decision. Like, it's like.
Andrew Stanley [00:48:23]:
So I guess it would be related to that. It would be like, hey, work on just being aware of your selfishness and catching yourself when you're making a decision that affects this person you love. And I think now I'm better about it because I. I think I just didn't expect that. I think I didn't expect to be like, oh, yeah, I just do whatever I want. And I didn't realize that's what I was doing. So I don't know, like, what advice that translates to, but that was definitely the thing you realize about yourself.
Kevin Thompson [00:48:58]:
Oh, no question. So if people want to follow you at Andrew Stanley on Instagram. Oh, Andrew W. I'm sorry.
Andrew Stanley [00:49:05]:
Yeah.
Kevin Thompson [00:49:05]:
Who's the. I don't know, person without the W?
Andrew Stanley [00:49:07]:
I don't know on Instagram who it is, but I'm Andrew stanley comedy.com. i wanted Andrew Stanley.com. it's a British photographer.
Kevin Thompson [00:49:15]:
Oh.
Andrew Stanley [00:49:15]:
I reached out to him, you know, probably eight years ago to be like, hey, man, I don't know if you're using this I could buy it from you. And he, he sent me the nicest message. He's like, andrew, I watched some of your comedy. You're very funny. I'm not interested in selling me at least, but so also, if you're ever in the uk, you need a photographer. That guy's great. Andrew. Andrew Stanley.
Kevin Thompson [00:49:33]:
He should co brand to where get the pictures. Yeah, just divide it down the middle.
Andrew Stanley [00:49:39]:
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, maybe I'll get him. Do some headshots for me. There you go. But Andrew Stanley comedy.com and Andrew W Stanley on social media special is going to be coming out later this year. We're not sure where yet, but if you follow me, you'll know if you want to hear the breast, the boob job stuff.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:49:56]:
Yeah, it's funny.
Andrew Stanley [00:49:57]:
That's in the special.
Adrienne Neufeld [00:49:57]:
It's really funny.
Andrew Stanley [00:50:00]:
But, yeah, thanks for having me. This is blast.
Kevin Thompson [00:50:01]:
No, we love you, we're great fans. Here's one of the things we're trying to do here at Change the Odds is we can't guarantee a perfect marriage, but there are some things that we can do to raise your chances of having a successful marriage. And one of the reasons we're cheering you on, not only do we care about you, but you're in an industry that sometimes marriage can be a struggle. So the idea that you can show a different way is one thing that we can't wait to see. So thanks for joining us, we'll see you next time.